When inspiration strikes. {Perspectives on Motherhood and Writing}

Today is the first guest weighing in on the Perspectives on Motherhood and Writing series running every Tuesday this Fall. I connected with Mandy J. Hoffman via mutual blogging buddies and have enjoyed getting to know her better through Instagram. She’s writing a book about reforming social media and recommends a lot of other good reads over on her blog. I appreciated Mandy’s focus on God’s timing – I think you will too!

MW Mandy

Why do you blog/write?

This is a really tough question! Originally I began – like everyone else – to share with family and friends when we moved away. But as time passed, and God continued His work in my life, I started to write more because I wanted to share about the amazing transformation God was doing in my life. I also wanted to challenge other women to read books that would help them grow in their walk with Christ and not just for entertainment and escape.

How long have you been blogging/writing?

I have been blogging since 2007 and writing here and there since I was a child.

How has your current season of life impacted your blogging/writing?

My current season of life is being wife to an amazing man and mom to three children, ages 7,9, and 11. We recently moved, making several huge life changes for the entire family. My husband went from full-time ministry to a secular job so that we could be members of a growing church plant that is 10 years old. It changed my life because I now homeschool my children rather then send them to a small Christian school. And of course for the kids, everything is new!

This means that my already crunched time schedule became even more crunched with the added load of homeschooling. Writing has taken a back seat because I have made the commitment to keep God and my family first. That has been SO SO hard for me. I have had to set aside the last work on my book in order to keep my family first. But I trust God that His timing is perfect and that He will allow the book to be published when He sees best.

How has this season of life changed your writing habits?

I seem to have to be “inspired” to write. I have tried to schedule writing and it comes to a halt like frozen honey! Of course when I’m busy and a pen and paper are the farthest thing away from me I have all kinds of crazy good ideas! My goal is to write those things down and then take large chunks of time to organize those ideas, plan them out, and then write.

However, sometimes life still gets in the way. My current series got interrupted by the end of the school year deadlines and the deadline to file for this coming school year. When I see friends writing on a regular basis it’s hard for me not to be jealous, but I have to remind myself that God is in control and His plan for my writing is different than for theirs.

What is your blogging/writing battle cry?

“Connecting God’s grace to the daily grind” is my tagline and my passion is to show women how God’s grace truly impacts every aspect and moment of our days no matter how routine or how crazy.

How does faith, writing, and motherhood intersect in your daily life?

I write about my faith and often times how my faith has impacted those mothering moments.

Mandy J HoffmanMandy is married to her soul mate and favorite pastor – Justin. God has graced them with two girls and one boy – all blonde hair and blue-eyed. If Mandy isn’t homeschooling the kids, cleaning the house, or baking cookies, she can be found cozied up studying theology or counseling teens and women.

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Redefining “all in.” {Perspectives on Motherhood and Writing}

If you’ve poked around the blog a bit, you’ll know that I became a first time mom in January. Though I’ve found much joy in this new role, I’ve struggled to find a balance between my need/love of writing and the demands of motherhood and marriage.  

As I considered picking the brains and hearts of all the wonderful momma writers I know, I realized I wasn’t the only person who would benefit from their advice and insight. I’m super excited to announce the Perspectives on Motherhood and Writing series. 

Every Tuesday this Fall, a talented mom and writer/blogger will be answering a few of my questions about balancing motherhood and writing. I want this series to be an avenue for women to share and encourage other women with their own wisdom and experience.

To give you a preview of what this series is all about, I answered my own questions! I hope you enjoy the series and make sure to check back next week for the first guest post.

Motherhood and Writing Emily

Why do you write/blog?

Writing helps me to connect with myself and blogging helps me to connect with others. It’s the way I process my day to day life and my relationship with God.

Though the majority of my writing stays hidden in the pages of copious journals, I choose to write publicly on my blog because of what Jean Fleming describes as an act of stewardship.

Revelations are graces from God not to be received lightly. For me, that means setting down on paper thoughts that might evaporate if left floating in the air. The ideas I explore, pray over, and chew on form a body of truth-in-process for me. I catch glimmers, fully intending to watch over them like a hen over her hatch. I return to these forming ideas, asking the Lord to correct, enlarge, and refine them.

Jean Fleming in Pursue the Intentional Life

Jean writes books to “honor revelation that [she] might preserve and return to it.” I write blogs posts to do the same. (Which is not to say that all my blog post are full of deep revelation…)

How long have you been writing/blogging?

I have a box full of journals in the garage with thoughts ranging from ten-year-old Emily to married Emily. I’ve been blogging since September 2012.

How has your current season of life impacted your writing/blogging?

We welcomed our first child in January this year (2014) and he has absolutely impacted my writing/blogging, as well as everything else in my life. Like with all new seasons of life, motherhood has required a shift in priorities. Writing and blogging have fallen down a few notches on my priority totem pole. I’ve struggled and pushed against that reality because writing is cathartic, creative, and fun for me. But, I’ve learned through experience that the more I force writing and blogging to happen, the less fruitful and joy-filled it is.

When I do something, I want to be all in. This season is teaching me to be gentle with myself – with my expectations, with my goals, and with my schedule. I can’t be “all-in” with blogging the way I think all-in should look. I’m having to redefine what all-in looks like for me in this season.

How has this season of life changed your writing habits?

In the last seven months, I have wondered so many times how I didn’t have posts going up on my blog every day before James arrived. Back then, writing was my only (unpaid) occupation and I was able to spend innumerable hours crafting posts.

This season has drastically cut the amount of time I have for non-mothering pursuits.  Writing is a long process for me, done best in large chunks of solitude. Those are few and far between right now and when they do come along, I’m always torn between writing and doing something practical, like cleaning the dried up pea puree crusted onto the dinning room floor.

Sleep has been better for my mental health than writing, so I’ve yet to develop the habit of rising earlier than James for a block of uninterrupted writing time.  That means my drafts folder is exploding and there’s a squadron of ideas floating around in my head that I will probably forget before they ever make it into a draft.

I try not to be on the computer when James is awake during the day, so the majority of my writing happens during naptime. If I really need/want to finish something that I’ve started that day, I will use some evening moments when Tim is home to complete a post. Tim blogs too, so we sometimes have blogging dates after James goes to bed.

What is your writing/blogging battle cry?

My blog was originally called Primitive Roads: navigating life’s unpaved paths. You can read the longer version, but basically I was inspired to start a blog during a major transition in our life and wanted a place to document the things that help me through the more rustic moments of life’s ever changing seasons.

Though I shifted to personal branding recently, the heart behind Primitive Roads still applies. I’m passionate about pursuing an intentional life in every season, recognizing that God is sovereign in every season. I want my writing to encourage others to embrace whatever season of life they’re in, both the macro and the micro seasons.

How does faith, writing, and motherhood intersect in your daily life?

When I get frustrated and bummed out that my ebook isn’t finished, that a post didn’t get written, or that my blog design is outdated, I have to return to the reality of what I know God has called me to in this season. The Lord has given me a precious son to love and care for, and everything else has to fit in around my faith and my family.

When I succeed in keeping my priorities straight, my choices are dictated by what would make me the best imitator of Christ and best wife/mom. Sometimes that looks like picking up the house, taking a nap, reading a book, or going for a walk instead of writing.

When I do choose to write, I want my words to be a source of encouragement, hope, and love.

Surprised by Motherhood: my story

For me, motherhood was quite literally a surprise. Tim and I had been trying – trying not to have a baby, yet. I was thinking three years into our marriage would be nice. Maybe then I would have done all the things I thought I should do before having a baby.

So, when I woke up that morning feeling pretty nauseous, I took a pregnancy test not because I really thought I was pregnant, but because the idea of being pregnant would niggle at me until I ruled it out completely.

I left the test on the bathroom floor to percolate and promptly got distracted by dirty dishes and unpacking the house we had just moved into the week prior. It wasn’t until I almost stepped on the white stick on my way to the toilet that I remembered I was waiting on some important news.

I bent down. Paused. Blinked. Bent down further. Two blue lines were staring back at me from the bathroom floor.

This wasn’t a hubby’s home early, it’s a brand new car, I aced my test kind of surprise. There was no confetti, no candles, no cake. I even took four more tests in the next 36 hours to confirm it actually was the surprise we thought it was.

From the very start, motherhood was a surprise. And if the last 15 months is any indicator, I will continue to be surprised by motherhood.Surprised by Motherhood

I was surprised by the anxiety and fear that gripped my heart at every doctors appointment.

I was surprised by the grief I felt as my season of life changed.

I was surprised by the struggles I had with my growing body. (Well, knowing my history, that wasn’t a big surprise.)

I was (pleasantly) surprised by the way the development our little one was knitting Tim and I closer together.

I was surprised at how much love a heart can hold for such a small person.

I am surprised by how something could be so hard and so wonderful all at the same time.

I am surprised by the grace and joy so intricately woven into everyday with our son.

I am continually surprised by God’s faithfulness to meet me right where I am.

~~~

 

It’s hard to see the significance when you’re so weighed down by the mundane. And it can feel like everyone else around you is busy doing big, important things while you have worn the same spit-up-stained sweatpants three days in a row.

Lisa-Jo Baker in Surprised by Motherhood

The journey to, from, and around motherhood is a sprawling story with often complicated plot lines. Lisa-Jo Baker shares her journey in Surprised by Motherhood. Her story is beautifully written and engaging, grace-filled and encouraging. I cried, I laughed, and I amen’d my way through her tale of loss and redemption. It’s a must read for any mom!

But, I believe God loves us too much to leave us flailing in our self-centered universes, so He delivers these tiny reflections of ourselves into our homes with earthquake effectiveness.

Lisa-Jo Baker in Surprised by Motherhood

In Celebration of Wailing

in Celebration of WailingThe weather here in Northern Idaho was still bouncing between Winter frost and Spring thaw while Tim and I were on our little staycation a couple weeks back. So, after a
depressingly chilly day or two when I was thankful for the condo’s powerful heater, I did the happy dance around our borrowed living room as the sun rose brightly one morning. This called for fresh air so I opened all the windows, enjoying the cool breeze as I folded laundry and washed dishes.

Not only was I afforded a constant flow of Spring air, but because the condo was on the ground floor, a few feet from the sidewalk, I had a steady soundtrack from the day unfurling outside our windows. Several people shuffled by with dogs on jingling leashes. The mailman rattled keys against metal as he delivered envelopes and packages to the group of mailboxes between buildings. Construction workers a couple blocks away shouted instructions over the scrape of bulldozers ripping up concrete.

The noise trade was not one sided. Passersby could also hear the soundtrack coming from inside our open windows. This included the clanking of dishes I was scrubbing clean, the lilting melodies of worship music streaming from my iPad, and the piercing cries of baby James.

Our son is not colicky and generally only fusses when he’s hungry or tired. But on this particular day, James decided to test his pipes. I looked up from the dishes just in time to see our peaceful sleeper go rigid, all appendages stuck straight out from his body. From his mouth erupted a most piercing scream that quickly transitioned to rhythmic wailing.  I hustled with dripping hands from behind the sink to console our crying child.

Normally, crying doesn’t bother me. I hold, rock, whisper, bounce, and shush for however long it takes for James to settle down. But this episode got my heart rate up as I frantically tried to quiet our screaming son. It dawned on me as I furtively glanced to the open windows that I was embarrassed by James’ outburst.

I could hear the neighbors thinking, “Ugh, there goes that baby again. I hope they leave soon.” I could imagine a person out for a stroll wondering if they should call the police for fear a baby was getting abused. What if James was disturbing someone? What if people thought I was a bad parent because my son wouldn’t stop crying?

I looked to the open windows and wished I had kept them closed.

in Celebration of Wailing (2)

The open windows provided a peak into our reality – James isn’t a perfectly peaceful baby and I’m not a perfectly calm mother.  Had I kept the windows closed, I may have been able to mask our imperfections but I would have perpetuated a lie.

There’s something to be said for throwing open the windows of our lives, allowing others to glimpse the imperfections in our hearts, minds, and souls. Vulnerability is an important part of building community, but it’s also scary and embarrassing at times. It’s much easier to keep our windows closed, to muffle our crying, and let passersby walk past thinking everything is hunky-dory.

God’s desire is to work through human vulnerability rather than overcome it.

Mike Erre in Astonished (a fantastic book!)

I think vulnerability is valuable enough for us to not only open our windows, but open our doors – invite people into our messes and our brokenness.

To borrow words from a popular song:

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see. Be the good [person] you always have to be. Conceal don’t feel, don’t let them know. Well, now they know.

Let it go, let it go. Can’t hold it back anymore.

Let It Go from Frozen

Oftentimes my tendency is to conceal, to not let people see the true nature of my heart. Let’s not be people who conceal the imperfections, who hold back for the sake of appearances. God shows up powerfully when we let it go. Let’s open our windows, open our doors, and celebrate wailing.

 

I Hope He Takes After You

I hope he takes after YouI already know he has your long, dark eyelashes

and the dimples that compress those precious cheeks are just like yours.

I already know he has the same notch missing from his right ear

and a length that hints at a tall frame just like yours.

But, I hope he takes after you.

I hope he inherits your subtle strength and quiet leadership.

I hope he possesses the same respect for women.

I hope he shares your love of coffee, the outdoors, and family.

I hope he has the same caring, sensitive spirit.

I hope he takes after you.

I already know he bares Your image

formed so perfectly and wonderfully in my womb.

I already know he is built for Your unique purpose

equipped with gifts and passions the likes of which only You could supply.

But, I hope he takes after You.

I hope he lives selflessly and sacrificially.

I hope he seeks out and serves the least.

I hope he pursues community and prioritizes relationship.

I hope he values vulnerability over comfort.

I hope he gives grace freely to himself and others.

I hope he loves abundantly.

I hope he takes after You.