For me, motherhood was quite literally a surprise. Tim and I had been trying – trying not to have a baby, yet. I was thinking three years into our marriage would be nice. Maybe then I would have done all the things I thought I should do before having a baby.
So, when I woke up that morning feeling pretty nauseous, I took a pregnancy test not because I really thought I was pregnant, but because the idea of being pregnant would niggle at me until I ruled it out completely.
I left the test on the bathroom floor to percolate and promptly got distracted by dirty dishes and unpacking the house we had just moved into the week prior. It wasn’t until I almost stepped on the white stick on my way to the toilet that I remembered I was waiting on some important news.
I bent down. Paused. Blinked. Bent down further. Two blue lines were staring back at me from the bathroom floor.
This wasn’t a hubby’s home early, it’s a brand new car, I aced my test kind of surprise. There was no confetti, no candles, no cake. I even took four more tests in the next 36 hours to confirm it actually was the surprise we thought it was.
From the very start, motherhood was a surprise. And if the last 15 months is any indicator, I will continue to be surprised by motherhood.
I was surprised by the anxiety and fear that gripped my heart at every doctors appointment.
I was surprised by the grief I felt as my season of life changed.
I was surprised by the struggles I had with my growing body. (Well, knowing my history, that wasn’t a big surprise.)
I was (pleasantly) surprised by the way the development our little one was knitting Tim and I closer together.
I was surprised at how much love a heart can hold for such a small person.
I am surprised by how something could be so hard and so wonderful all at the same time.
I am surprised by the grace and joy so intricately woven into everyday with our son.
I am continually surprised by God’s faithfulness to meet me right where I am.
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It’s hard to see the significance when you’re so weighed down by the mundane. And it can feel like everyone else around you is busy doing big, important things while you have worn the same spit-up-stained sweatpants three days in a row.
Lisa-Jo Baker in Surprised by Motherhood
The journey to, from, and around motherhood is a sprawling story with often complicated plot lines. Lisa-Jo Baker shares her journey in Surprised by Motherhood. Her story is beautifully written and engaging, grace-filled and encouraging. I cried, I laughed, and I amen’d my way through her tale of loss and redemption. It’s a must read for any mom!
But, I believe God loves us too much to leave us flailing in our self-centered universes, so He delivers these tiny reflections of ourselves into our homes with earthquake effectiveness.
Lisa-Jo Baker in Surprised by Motherhood
Emily C Gardner 