Have a Mary Christmas in a Martha World

~ Emily ~ 6 Comments

 

I want to have a Mary Christmas – not merry and not Mary, the momma of Jesus.  I want to have a Mary, sister of Martha, Christmas.

If you’re not familiar with this Mary, find her story in Luke 10:38-42.

Two sisters with two very different approaches to serving their Lord.  Martha bustles and Mary sits.  Martha works and Mary listens.  Martha worries much and Mary worries little.  Mary chose the better way.

I am a Martha.

I do and do until my doings distract me from worship.  My doings become the heart behind my service instead of the One who I do them for.

Holidays kick my Martha in to full gear.

My Martha spirit says I must recreate everything on my Christmas Pinterest board to insure my house looks like a veritable winter wonderland.  I feel the need to put up every Christmas decoration I own for fear of being a festive failure.

Not only do I want my first married Christmas to be significant and special, but I also have a compulsion to replicate the good memories from every Christmas past, which means a long list of things to do and recipes to make.

The Martha in me would work 24/7 to make all of those things happen.  In the process, she transforms traditions into to-do lists and tasks.

 

Mary Martha

Part of me wants to stand up for Martha.  How would my home look festive and how would December feel like Christmas time if I didn’t work, work, work at doing it all?

But, wouldn’t December 25th come and go even if every nook and cranny of my house didn’t have some Christmas paraphernalia or if I didn’t decorate Christmas cookies or we didn’t have a big holiday hoopla?

When Martha strives to create a winter wonderland, Mary just sits in simple wonder at the feet of her Savior.

I want a Mary Christmas this year.

Pray For A Blog?

~ Emily ~ 13 Comments

I finally did it, an act of surrender that God was prompting with very vivid lessons in patience and perseverance.

I prayed over my blog.

Where fingers usually skim across the black keys, taping out words as quick as they come to mind, my hand rested with fingers still on the keyboard. Where eyes are usually trained with focus and attention, my head bowed with eyes closed before the opened screen.

I felt pretty silly sitting there, silent and unseeing, with laptop on my knees. I was secretly pleased Tim wasn’t there to observe my unusual posture.

That posture was long in coming, and I regret that it had not been executed earlier.

I was finally praying that Primitive Roads would be completely placed in God’s hands.  I view this blog as ministry just as much as I view it as a hobby.  I so want it to be a space where people experience and know God, not just read about Him.

It took the process of switching Primitive Roads from wordpress.com to wordpress.org for me to realize that my blog had become just that – MY blog.

Though I am pleased that Primitive Roads has survived the migration, it has certainly endured much troubleshooting, adjusting, and overall technical fine tuning in the process.

I spent hours on Live Chat with Host Gator (PS – they are awesome!) fixing URL problems on top of the hours I spent manually (I now realize there are plugins that can do these things…) redirecting links and minimizing photo file sizes.

If I wasn’t wanting to throw a brick through my computer when I first started the transfer, by the end I was sending my blood pressure sky-high with frustration at my lack of blogging tech-savvy.  My mind would not turn off with updates and corrections I needed to make, and I was so disheartened as traffic began to drop.

As feelings of defeat crept in, the biggest problem became apparent – I was striving for success, success for myself.

Primitive Roads had become all about me. I wanted people to read MY words and make MY recipes and subscribe to MY blog.

And that’s why I found myself with palms open on my keyboard, praying for Primitive Roads.

This is a little of how my prayer went:

Primitive Roads is YOURS!  Do with my words as YOU please.  Let my striving be for YOUR glory.  If I boast in anything, let me boast in YOU and what YOU have done.

Lord, Primitive Roads isn’t about me.  It’s about YOU.  May my choices, time, and words in blogging reflect my love for You and Your love for us.

Help me to maintain good boundaries and priorities.  You first. Tim second.  Ministry third.

Please continue to give me Your vision as we navigate these primitive roads together!

Your daughter,

Emily

It may be weird, to pray for a blog, to pray with hands laid on a computer, but I will continue to be weird.

How do you keep your ministry surrendered to God?

 

 

Read Along The Road

~ Emily ~ Leave a comment

There’s a box in our garage filled with journals in every shape and size, their content chronicling my life since junior high. Some are specifically devoted to a certain fellow I had a major crush on, others contain my travel adventures from a year studying abroad.

Needless to say, I am an avid journaler.

So also is Amanda Holland, who wrote an excellent post for Inspired To Action about journaling her spiritual journey.

How Journaling Has Impacted My Faith

Faith journaling has changed my life. My walk with God is growing so much deeper than ever before.

I can already look back and see how He has slowly revealed things to me, little by little, as I spend time with Him. He’s revealing big dreams – God-sized dreams – to me, and reawakening dreams that I let die long ago. Do I have this “listening to God” thing down? Good grief, no…but the closer I get to Him, the better I hear His voice. When He speaks to my heart, I record it in my journal.

Read the rest HERE.  Find more of Amanda at Grace In Our Moments.

 

Wonder {5 minute friday}

~ Emily ~ 3 Comments

Inquiring.  Seeking. Questioning.

I wonder what would happen if…?  I wonder why…?  I wonder if I could…?

The possibilities are endless.  Wonder is limitless.

What captures our attention propels us to wonder.  We pursue what intrigues us, what we don’t quite understand.  There’s always an element of mystery in wonder.  We seek not knowing what’s to be found.

Wonder is the action that moves us forward into the unknown, but it is also an element to be found and studied.  Wonder unfolds as an undulating continuum of searching and asking, marveling and admiring.

This continuum can motivate movement or stimulate silence.

I can only think of One who perfectly fits into the continuum of wonder…

Our Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God.

 

Five Minute Friday

On Letting Go

~ Emily ~ 3 Comments

 

Kristin Ritzau wrote a book, a book specifically for me.  Well, she didn’t write the book for me only, but for everyone like me – Christ followers wrestling with how perfectionism fits in to their daily life.  A Beautiful Mess is a journey of freedom for all who struggle with crippling expectations and yearn for acceptance and contentment.

Kristin’s blog, is a space to share the perfectionist journey with authenticity and a full serving of grace.  Multi-media expressions of this journey are guided by a changing prompt.  This season, the prompt is Letting Go.

I’m sharing part of my own journey about letting go and forgiveness today over on A Beautiful Mess.

The Battle Royal

For fear of starting a battle royal, I will refrain from declaring myself the Queen of Perfectionism. But rest assured I have a crown large enough to encompass my Type A personality and desire to be flawless.

After many years of gazing at the reflection bouncing back at me from the polished metal of my crown, as most introspective perfectionists are apt to do, I’ve discovered that being a perfectionist is not a stand-alone job.

By default, perfectionist royalty also hold the gavel of judgment, announcing with a resounding thud whenever criteria is not met. Not only do we rule over ourselves with strict standards, but we also expect others to abide by them as well.

I may not consciously expect others to have my same standards, but I certainly judge them by my exacting code of behavior and ethics.

When perfectionism and judgment join forces, a wake of destruction is sure to follow. Pain and shame are quick to appear in the hearts of those who fall victim to critical self-evaluations and fail to meet unattainable goals.

What is a queen to do when she is finally too entangled by the evil snares of her own striving and self-deprecation? Or when she has ostracized herself from others because of a hypercritical spirit?

Read the rest of The Battle Royal here!