I finally did it, an act of surrender that God was prompting with very vivid lessons in patience and perseverance.
I prayed over my blog.
Where fingers usually skim across the black keys, taping out words as quick as they come to mind, my hand rested with fingers still on the keyboard. Where eyes are usually trained with focus and attention, my head bowed with eyes closed before the opened screen.
I felt pretty silly sitting there, silent and unseeing, with laptop on my knees. I was secretly pleased Tim wasn’t there to observe my unusual posture.
That posture was long in coming, and I regret that it had not been executed earlier.
I was finally praying that Primitive Roads would be completely placed in God’s hands. I view this blog as ministry just as much as I view it as a hobby. I so want it to be a space where people experience and know God, not just read about Him.
It took the process of switching Primitive Roads from wordpress.com to wordpress.org for me to realize that my blog had become just that – MY blog.
Though I am pleased that Primitive Roads has survived the migration, it has certainly endured much troubleshooting, adjusting, and overall technical fine tuning in the process.
I spent hours on Live Chat with Host Gator (PS – they are awesome!) fixing URL problems on top of the hours I spent manually (I now realize there are plugins that can do these things…) redirecting links and minimizing photo file sizes.
If I wasn’t wanting to throw a brick through my computer when I first started the transfer, by the end I was sending my blood pressure sky-high with frustration at my lack of blogging tech-savvy. My mind would not turn off with updates and corrections I needed to make, and I was so disheartened as traffic began to drop.
As feelings of defeat crept in, the biggest problem became apparent – I was striving for success, success for myself.
Primitive Roads had become all about me. I wanted people to read MY words and make MY recipes and subscribe to MY blog.
And that’s why I found myself with palms open on my keyboard, praying for Primitive Roads.
This is a little of how my prayer went:
Primitive Roads is YOURS! Do with my words as YOU please. Let my striving be for YOUR glory. If I boast in anything, let me boast in YOU and what YOU have done.
Lord, Primitive Roads isn’t about me. It’s about YOU. May my choices, time, and words in blogging reflect my love for You and Your love for us.
Help me to maintain good boundaries and priorities. You first. Tim second. Ministry third.
Please continue to give me Your vision as we navigate these primitive roads together!
Your daughter,
Emily
It may be weird, to pray for a blog, to pray with hands laid on a computer, but I will continue to be weird.
How do you keep your ministry surrendered to God?
Emily C Gardner 
I love it! Absolutely. My prayer is usually along the lines of, “Here, Lord. Here’s my five loaves and my two fish. Please multiply it to those who need to eat. // I think surrender is beautiful.
Idelette, I may be adopting that prayer as my own – love it! I am definitely learning not only to trust God with my five loaves and two fish, but also to trust that He knows best what to do with my meager offerings.
Emily, I love how teachable you are, and how honest & transparent you are. You are definitely “clay in the Potter’s hands”, just like He wants us to be. I LOVE that you want this to be a tool for people to EXPERIENCE and KNOW God, not just read about Him. There is such a huge difference. I will be praying for you as you continue to rely on Him and use the gifts He has given you for His glory. Your friend, ~Sally
Thank you so much, Sally – for your friendship and your prayers!
Surrender! Oh, my soul needs a daily surrender and it does so much for the soul that the blessings many times outweigh the pain that we felt during the experience!
I heartily agree. Surrender can be painful, but it is so beautiful – in our hearts and to God’s heart.
Amen. Amen. And Amen.
I keep my ministry surrendered to God by always remembering that it is His ministry, not mine. I am just the willing, obedient instrument He can use to accomplish what He wants. It’s about Him, not me. When I keep this as my mindset, the surrender just comes naturally.
“It’s not about me” is definitely a daily mantra! You are a great example of a pastor’s wife and a faithful servant. Love you!
Amen! Thank you for the reminder. And your blog name/graphic speaks deeply to me! I love it!
Thank you Katie! The name came from a real life experience with a primitive road – I need to write that post :)
Hello, girlfriend! You are not weird NOR alone! I have learned to pray for my blog, and it is in Spirit-led blogging that He has restored to me the JOY of blogging (which had been lost in pursuing SEO and promoting myself), and also brought forth fruit I couldn’t have imagined.
Hi Trina! Spirit-led blogging is definitely what I seek to achieve – and I guess there’s the rub, I need to let God achieve whatever He wants to with my writing. Praying with you for surrendered and joyful blogging!