Kristin Ritzau wrote a book, a book specifically for me. Well, she didn’t write the book for me only, but for everyone like me – Christ followers wrestling with how perfectionism fits in to their daily life. A Beautiful Mess is a journey of freedom for all who struggle with crippling expectations and yearn for acceptance and contentment.
Kristin’s blog, is a space to share the perfectionist journey with authenticity and a full serving of grace. Multi-media expressions of this journey are guided by a changing prompt. This season, the prompt is Letting Go.
I’m sharing part of my own journey about letting go and forgiveness today over on A Beautiful Mess.
The Battle Royal
For fear of starting a battle royal, I will refrain from declaring myself the Queen of Perfectionism. But rest assured I have a crown large enough to encompass my Type A personality and desire to be flawless.
After many years of gazing at the reflection bouncing back at me from the polished metal of my crown, as most introspective perfectionists are apt to do, I’ve discovered that being a perfectionist is not a stand-alone job.
By default, perfectionist royalty also hold the gavel of judgment, announcing with a resounding thud whenever criteria is not met. Not only do we rule over ourselves with strict standards, but we also expect others to abide by them as well.
I may not consciously expect others to have my same standards, but I certainly judge them by my exacting code of behavior and ethics.
When perfectionism and judgment join forces, a wake of destruction is sure to follow. Pain and shame are quick to appear in the hearts of those who fall victim to critical self-evaluations and fail to meet unattainable goals.
What is a queen to do when she is finally too entangled by the evil snares of her own striving and self-deprecation? Or when she has ostracized herself from others because of a hypercritical spirit?
Read the rest of The Battle Royal here!
Emily C Gardner 
Just read this tonight. Your words or words from the book ? Interesting, especially about “trying” to learn to forgive others for their imperfections…….
My words :) I got the book for Christmas! The author is a professor at APU.
Will look up the book. I think if we were perfect we would be God. I suppose we all judge at times but that is hurtful, and unkind and I think not in God’s plan….. not who he wants us to be. Try as we may, everyone cannot fit into others idea of the perfect, we make mistakes, we error, we fail and come up short but we also try and love and ache and strive to be the best, loving, caring people we can be in the moment…. I think we need not expect of others without looking within and exploring who they are, where they have come from, their life experiences ….. what they are trying to strive for, what their hopes dreams and faith is all about.