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Dear Autumn {31 Days of Letters}

~ Emily ~ 2 Comments

Dear Autumn,

Of all the seasons, you are the most complex.

You usher in change with a splendor unparalleled.  With chameleon-like qualities, your citrine turns to amber and your emerald to auburn.  At the height of beauty, you shed your colorful skin to brighten the drab earth below.  A second wave of Fall opulence can dance across gravel, grass, and dirt.

You are a golden rae between the vibrant and the colorless.

Your time is fleeting.  One frost or one gust of wind could sap your fragile life.  But while you last, you bring forth the harvest.  Labor and toil is rewarded with maturity and abundance.

May I enjoy your fruits and your grandeur during this season. May I dwell in your warmth for however long it lasts without looking toward the ominous cold ahead.

Warm regards,

Emily

You can find all my letters here.

For more information about the 31 Day Challenge, visit The Nester.

Dear Jesus {31 Days of Letters}

~ Emily ~ 9 Comments

Mary DeMuth wrote Everything, a book about letting God be your everything.  In her words:

I’m a mess like you (though you’re probably much less messy!). I truly want Jesus to be my everything, but some days I try to be my own everything. I forget God’s strength shines best when I feel small and weak. And I bootstrap myself more than I’d like to admit. {Mary DeMuth}

Sounds like me!  I don’t own this book yet, but Everything is on my to-buy-ASAP list.  I’m looking forward to reading it, and I’m also kind of nervous.  I fail at making God my everything and know Mary’s book will stretch and challenge my daily walk with God.

In honor of Everything being released this past Tuesday, my letter today is based on The Worrywart Prayer.  Worry is a self-inflicted road block to letting God be everything in your life.  It distracts us, demeans God, and deadens our joy.

Here’s my take on The Worrywart Prayer, which Mary wrote to help us all let go of worry.  I encourage you to fill in the blanks for yourself.  Prayerfully consider what worries are disabling God from being everything in your life.  Pray for God’s freedom from those worries.

Dear Jesus,

You are far greater than anyone or anything I can fathom.  You have been faithful to me – faithful in my doubts, in my worry, in my unbelief – for all my twenty-five years.

You are more than able to handle my burdens.  You are more than capable of caring for my loved ones.  You are more than willing to turn my worries into a thing of the past.

Jesus, I give You my future.  I give You my emotions, my health, my marriage, my family, my writing.

I don’t know what You will do with these things, but I know that You are more loving and more wise than I could be, even about the things that I hold so dear.

I hold on to my life with such a tight grip that I strangle Your plans and purposes.  I am sorry for my obsession with control.

Please give me the strength to let go, to open my hands, and relax my grip.  I want Your will and Your presence.

Jesus, take it all!  Help me to trust You today and forever.  I give up my desires, my plotting and planning.  I humbly ask for Your guidance, for Your will to be done in my life.

I choose not to worry about my future and all that it holds or doesn’t hold.  When I slip and stumble along the way, let Your grace overcome my worry.

Amen.

Emily

You can find all my letters here.

For more information about the 31 Day Challenge, visit The Nester.

Dear Gramma {31 Days of Letters}

~ Emily ~ 6 Comments

 

Dear Gramma,

I miss you.  I miss you a lot.

Has it really been five years?  Those five years have held so many changes for our family – good changes, exciting changes, important changes, changes you would have loved to be a part of.

Reminders of you.

Missing you and knowing the things you’ve missed has been a daily reminder of God’s sovereignty.  He is anxious for us to dwell in His house.  I cannot dispute His perfect timing in the number of your days even though I would have preferred you to have more of them.  I strive to have my heart echo Job’s words:

The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.  {Job 1:21}

I do praise God for the 20 years you were present in my life.  You taught me how to make pie crust and divinity.  You passed on your lust for travel and learning. You cheered me on in all my endeavors.  I think you were my biggest fan when pep flags performed at football games.

But, my heart aches when I look back on my college graduation, on my wedding, on my move to Idaho, knowing that you weren’t able to witness and celebrate those events.  You would have been proud of me in my cap and gown.  You would have loved my Tim.  You would have loved to visit Coeur d’Alene.

I know as time goes on, there will be more milestones that my heart aches over, especially when little Gardners arrive.  However, I am thankful for the undeniable legacy you have left in your stead.

I miss you.

Love,

Emily

You can find all my letters here.

For more information about the 31 Day Challenge, visit The Nester.

Music to My Heart

~ Emily ~ 2 Comments

For the longest time, my car’s CD player has been defunct.  Woe be unto you if you hit the eject button.  A concerto of discouraging noises will announce that your request has been rejected.  Not only does the player hold my six CDs hostage, it also refuses to play them most of the time.

However, yesterday was one of those joyous occasions when I pressed the CD button and music started to play.  Changing the CD is also a no-no, so I was pleased when JJ Heller began to sing.  A friend of mine introduced me to her a couple years ago and I’m a huge fan.  Her songs are infused with vulnerability and an emotional insight that generally leaves me sniffing instead of singing.

Music and I have never had an overtly intimate relationship.  It’s more of a pastime than a passion, but, as the inevitable JJ Heller sniff fest ensued, I realized there were certain artists I gravitated towards when traversing particularly primitive roads in my life.

Here’s a few of my go to artists and songs that, for various reasons, stir something deep in my soul and keep me going when I feel bummed out:

Reality San Fransisco – Songs Of Our Youth: This EP is a collection of 4 worship songs written or rearranged by the worship team over at Reality San Francisco in their beginning stages as a church.  Psalm 23 could be them most moving worship song I’ve heard. I can’t listen to it on the treadmill anymore because closing my eyes throws me off balance…  Bonus – you can download the EP for free!

You prepare a table in the presence of my foes and You anoint my head and my cup it overflows.  Surely I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.  {Psalm 23}

The Kinks – Waterloo Sunset:  My brother introduced me to The Kinks and this song.  He generally tears up when listening to it, which I never understood until I witnessed a Waterloo sunset.  Both of us studied abroad in the UK and have a special place in our hearts for England.  There’s something about the melody that I find hauntingly beautiful and I am instantly transported overseas to a fun, growth filled season in my life.

People so busy, makes me feel dizzy, taxi light shines so bright.  But I don’t need no friends.  As long as I gaze on waterloo sunset, I am in paradise.   {Waterloo Sunset}

The Beach Boys: I can’t help but smile when I hear The Beach Boys playing.  I am a Southern California girl, after all…  Just a few chords and my feet tap, my voice sings out, and my primitive road doesn’t seem so daunting. Tim and I exited our wedding ceremony to the triumphal strains of Wouldn’t It Be Nice. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could wake up in the morning when the day is new.  And after having spent the day together, hold each other close the whole night through.  You know its gonna make it that much better, when we can say goodnight and stay together.   {Would’t It Be Nice}

JJ Heller: Like I mentioned before, Mrs. Heller knows how to craft meaningful and honest songs.  Her lyrics make me cry, laugh, Amen!, and sigh.  I own Painted Red and Only Love Remains.

I’m losing my vision, I’m fighting the doubting with all that I am.  It’s been awhile since you last gave me something to go on.  Tell me it’s not the end.  {Everything Is Changing}

What music gets you though the days that seem particularly unpaved?

Thankful Thursday: Unpacked Treasures

~ Emily ~ Leave a comment

Our stuff arrived on Tuesday evening! Tim and I watched our empty spaces become stacked high with boxes and furniture.  The resulting landscape was a bit daunting, but the idea of having an actual bed to sleep on, kitchen equipment, and bikes to ride overshadowed much of the foreboding linked to having cardboard mountains in our living room.

Eight hours of unpacking later and our mountains have become hills.  Progress is being made.  Our little abode is slowly becoming a reflection of its two occupants.  In the process, I unearthed some things that put a smile on my face.  I am grateful for these little treasures, reminders of people, pastimes, and pleasures that make life sweet.

  • Owl Salt & Pepper Shakers: It all started with a purse – a purse shaped like an owl.  Once I started toting it around, I became an owl girl.  I have owl earrings, owl clothing, and owl measuring cups.  By far my favorite owl objects are these vintage salt and pepper shakers.  My mom bought a whole box of owl figurines at an auction in Central New York for a dollar.  The cache included this set.  I adore their expression and brownware-esque color.
  • Keurig: We are coffee addicts and have spent way too much money purchasing our caffeine out on a daily basis.  My coffee with almond milk and sugar-free vanilla syrup has never tasted so delicious as it did this morning.
  • Books:  A solid third of our boxes are filled with books.  We had credit at an amazing bookstore in Pasadena (Archives Bookshop) and added to our large library the week before we left for Idaho.  On my growing “to-read” list, these have moved to the top.
  • Goggles: Tim and I can’t wait to swim at the Kroc Center!