When You Don’t Give God Enough Time

When You don't...A mouse who likes cookies. And milk. And needs a haircut after checking his whiskers in the mirror for a milk mustache… I can relate. 1. I like cookies. and milk. 2. My choices – even the simple ones, like getting a glass of milk to go with a cookie – create a snowball effect that sometimes we don’t mean to create.

When you give a mouse a cookie…

That mouse’s story has been on my mind a lot lately. He goes on a wild journey, dragging his patient friend with him, all because he wanted milk with his cookie. I have gone on many a wild journey all because of a simple choice, and they haven’t all been joyful journeys.

Last Winter was one of those not-so-pleasant journeys. Tim and I were new to life in Idaho and I wasn’t adjusting well. I struggled to find community, to adjust to a new culture, and to embrace all four seasons. When Winter hit, I felt cold inside and out.  I was anxious and grumpy. I was overly sensitive and competitive. I was negative and critical. I thought I did a pretty good job of keeping the worst of those feeling inside, but looking back I can see those emotions manifested quite clearly in my actions and attitudes.

Tim received the brunt of my failure to adjust. I cringe remembering how sour I was last year and how many opportunities to be a supportive and caring wife I missed while I pouted and complained. On top of that, I missed out on opportunity after opportunity to do something about the things I was unhappy about because I was too busy being selfish.

I wasn’t pleased with God’s plan for me; so I did my best to adjust on my own terms and it wasn’t working. at. all.

When you don’t give God enough time…

I like immediate solutions. I’m more likely to send up a prayer for help while I’m in the midst of trying to straighten out my own path than I am to slow down and ask God for direction before I start moving and shaking.

Now that I have a year of perspective on last Winter and my failure to adjust, I realize how much of my struggle was wrapped up in impatience. I wanted instant results. When I didn’t make bosom buddies right away, when I didn’t love Idaho immediately, when I didn’t feel connected at our church, I felt disappointed and irritated. If God was going to pull me from family, friends, community, and a location that I loved, why wasn’t He providing for my needs in our new environment?

If I was offered cookies, shouldn’t milk be offered, too?

I was blinded by my own timeline. I gave God a small window to show up with milk and when it didn’t happen, I gave up. I didn’t give God enough time and my new little family reaped the consequences.

A year after the cookies, I’m just beginning to sip the milk. God IS faithful to provide for our needs, but He does it on His timeline. And He does it in ways that don’t always match up with how we expected. [pullquote position=”right”]If I learned anything during the past year it’s that God changes hearts but He doesn’t change them without permission. [/pullquote]

Adjusting to anything is a process. Even with God’s hand guiding you it can be painful, but it’s certainly less painful when you aren’t resisting and ornery. Had I stepped back and allowed God to do His thing with a yielded and patient heart, I would have saved myself and those around me a lot of grief.

Sure, I definitely still miss the things we left behind, but I didn’t give God enough time to heal my heart in a healthy way, to be what I needed in that adjustment. And When you don’t give God enough time…

photo credit: _ALVARO! via photopin cc

Well-Loved in 2013

There’s no other way to put it… 2013 was a big year. Here’s a brief 2013 wrap-up for the blog and daily life.

{The Blog}

The most views: The 5 Essential Earrings Every Girl Should Own
earrings The top five recipes: Top 5 Recipes in 2013

The most well-loved posts:

Well-loved posts

Thank you for reading, subscribing, commenting, and encouraging me! What would you like to see more of in 2014?

{Daily Life}

2013 threw a lot of travel and transition our way:

Travel

  • I went to Boston, Chicago, and Orlando for work.
  • We had a weekend away in Montana (almost didn’t count this since it’s just two hours away)
  • Tim and I made two trips to California together – once to see family and once to attend The Gathering (and see family and celebrate our first anniversary).
  • I made a solo trip to California to visit friends.
  • We spent a weekend in Kansas City to attend my cousin’s wedding.
  • I visited my parents in New York twice – once for a retreat, and once with Tim for vacation.

Transition

The biggest/craziest/weirdest thing for me about 2013 was the fact that I was pregnant for the majority of the year – definitely not what I was expecting 2013 to hold!

What I’m Into – December 2013

Linking up with Leigh for the last What I’m Into of the year! I’ve so enjoyed sharing my favorites with you.

Our December was busy in the beginning and then rather quiet. Tim and I had a restful Christmas, just the two of us, though I must say it didn’t really feel like Christmas. Here’s some of the goodness from this month:

(This post contains affiliate links. Read my full disclosure here.)

Good Eats

Good Things 

Incidentally, the first three are things I got for Christmas and now totally love. What’s dangerous is that I discovered they were all available on Amazon – way too easy to replenish!

good things

FarmHouse Fresh Fluffy Bunny Shea Butter Hand Cream – The scent alone, a mellow lavender and vanilla hybrid, would have had me hooked, but then the feel and the name and the packaging…

Caldrea Sea Salt Neroli Dish Soap – Fancy dish soap makes a daily chore so much more enjoyable. Being from Southern California, I particularly love the beachy, sea-air smell.

Fashionable {cleaning} Gloves – I mentioned last round of What I’m Into that I started to do the dishes with rubber gloves. Well, my classic yellow pair got a hole in the thumb and I was just about to buy another pair when I got these from my mom (paired with the lovely Caldrea dish soap). They are thick, latex-free, and have a nice soft lining. Plus, the white is trés chic. PLUS, my mom dolled them up by sewing a band of vinyl lace shelf trim to the cuff.

Gadanke journals – I adore Katie’s story-catching vision. Her journals are the perfect, manageable project.

Good Reads

I’ve been finishing up some books so I can claim them on my Read in 2013 list. I named my favorites in yesterday’s post.

2013 in Books

Book wrap-up

The list of books I read in 2013 that I have assembled in my head seems a bit more impressive than the actual list of books I read this year. Maybe that’s because seven of the thirty-nine were re-reads of the Harry Potter series, which I enjoyed digesting while food didn’t sound good during my first trimester. It could also be that when I look back over the books I read in 2013, I’m also looking back at the amount of time I was watching Frasier, White Collar, and Friends instead of reading. Or maybe it’s just that I have a whole passel of amazing books still in my to-read queue.

Regardless, this year has been a great year for books. I’m linking up with Sarah, Anne, and Haley with this unorganized post about the books I read this year. (This post contains affiliate links. See my full disclosure here.)

Fun Facts

  • 19 non-fiction, 20 fiction
  • 28 different authors, 23 of whom I hadn’t read books by before this year
  • I used Goodreads faithfully all year (thanks to the recommendation of the lovely Lindsay.)
  • I also compiled a list of life-changing books.
  • I started participating in Twitterature (short, casual book reviews with a link-up hosted by Modern Mrs. Darcy)! You can find my Twitterature posts for the books I read in 2013 here.

My Favorite Books of 2013 (that I read in 2013, not necessarily published in 2013)

Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist

A beautiful memoir of food, family, and friendship. Her prose are effortless, the themes are relevant, and the recipes are delicious. I loved everything about this book. I loved this book so much, I geekily wrote an expanded discussion guide for the book. You can find them here: Intro, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Adam: God’s Beloved by Henri Nouwen

I’m always immensely challenged by Nouwen’s words and this was no exception. Adam rocked my worldview.  I won’t ever look at physical, mental, or emotional disabilities the same. Nouwen’s heartfelt tribute to a dear friend is poignant, playing on themes from previous works like Life of The Beloved.

Quiet by Susan Cain

Quiet was insightful on so many levels. As an introvert, I learned much about myself and how I interact with others. But, Cain makes it clear that her book is less about one personality type overpowering the other and more about empowering people to be comfortable in their personality skin. Whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, the content of Quiet forces you to take a closer look at yourself and those around you. (Also $2.99 on Amazon right now!)

My Hands Came Away Red by Lisa McKay

An extreme but realistic look at what could happen on a third-world mission trip from the perspective of 18 year old Cori. I appreciated the not-so-perfect ending. Plus, the teen romance factor wasn’t cloying or annoying. I was totally immersed and engaged.

Grace for the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman

Hard to pick between this one and A Million Little Ways, but GGG was just so pertinent to who I am. I need a constant reminder to let go and let God. I heard her message to come out from hiding behind girl-made masks loud and clear.

There’s a couple more, like The Greatest Gift by Ann Voskamp and Packing Light by Allison Vesterfelt (full review here) that are on my favorites list, but five seemed like such a nice number to highlight.

I would also like to mention two note-worthy authors that I read for the first time this year: Tessa Afshar and Alison Strobel.

  • Tessa Afshar – I already wrote a whole post about her and her books, so I will keep this brief… She writes wonderful Christian fiction and her three books were some of my favorite this year.
  • Alison StrobelComposing Amelia and Reinventing Rachel were good books, but what I really appreciate about Alison is how she portrays the typical Christian perspective. I found myself rolling my eyes at some of the cultural Christian responses of her main characters before pausing to examine if my own responses to life ever appear that way to others. She also doesn’t shy away from gritty topics like mental illness and addiction, which I like especially from a youth worker perspective.

 What were your favorite books of 2013? What should be on my 2014 to-read list?

How We Tell Our Story

my story

Today marks my 33rd week as a pregnant woman. For as much as that title has been on my heart and mind the past seven months, I haven’t written about this new stage of life very frequently. Other than a few mentions and our gender reveal, I’ve only written four posts* about pregnancy. Pretty minimal for someone (this girl, at least) who processes through writing.

Despite my commitment to authenticity, writing about my pregnancy put me in a tough spot. For one, I often felt too raw and unrefined in my journey to be writing anything constructive. Just thinking about the changes happening in my body and our little family were overwhelming enough, let alone trying to communicate those feelings. I could barely wrap my heart and mind around what the next nine months (and the rest of our lives) would hold.

Secondly, I didn’t want to proliferate the feelings of comparison that I was struggling, and still sometimes struggle, with. [pullquote]Pregnancy is a minefield of places to compare yourself to others.[/pullquote] There’s weight gain and maternity wardrobes, OBGYNs and delivery methods, energy levels and nausea on top of your overall mental state about being pregnant and having a baby. And where there is comparison there is also judgement. I would read/hear about other people’s experiences and compare my own. I would judge them and I would judge myself. I didn’t want any of my thoughts on pregnancy to promote comparison or judgement for others, so I just didn’t write much about my own experiences.

Then I got the most life-giving and encouraging pregnancy wisdom from a mom who also happens to be pregnant herself. After sharing some stories about labor and delivery, she went on to say that everyone has a different story. Each story is unique and that’s what makes them all beautiful. So simple and so freeing. [pullquote position=”right”]There is no right or wrong way to be pregnant, give birth, or be a mom.[/pullquote] I can embrace the story that God has written for me, and at the same time, I can appreciate the story that God has written for someone else.

I want to be a pregnant woman and a mom who finds joy in her own journey, and all of the uniquenesses therein. I also want to be a pregnant woman and a mom who encourages other women to find beauty in their own unique journey. That’s the motivation behind sharing any life experience, whether baby related or not. When our stories are similar, that’s great and I hope there is encouragement and support in the similarities. But when they differ, I hope you are still encouraged by a God who shows up in all sorts of stories.

*My 4 posts about pregnancy: