Category: Community/Friendship

What Jane Austen Taught Me About Community

~ Emily ~ 3 Comments

This.  This is one of the multitudinous reasons why I love my husband.  Tim is kicking off January’s Community series with a post involving Jane Austen.  I’m so proud!

Community Series

What Jane Austen Taught Me About Community

Little did I know that when I started to delve into the world of Jane Austen as part of a Christmas present for my wife, I was going to run in to an important theological concept, one that is at the cornerstone of human relationships with God and others.  In the movie Mansfield Park, Henry Crawford tries to woo Fanny Price using this profound truth: “There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.”

This profound statement rings true in fictional stories of far off lands and in the hearts and minds of every individual who ever lived.  Humans have an instinctive desire to love and be loved, to know and be known – to be in community.  And this stems back to, well, before Adam and Eve.

ToLoveAndBeLoved

It starts with who God is.  We worship a God who exists in three persons: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.  Therefore, we worship a God who is in community.  And humans were created in the image of God – in community.

Genesis 1:26 states, “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness’” (NASB).

Through most of human history, many thought that being created in the image of God meant that we looked like God; that this referred to some physical quality.  However, within the last few centuries, theologians have found that being created in the image of God most likely refers to the relational aspect of our beings: our capacity to be in relationship with God and with others.

Consider Jesus’ response to the lawyer when he asked about the greatest commandment of the Law:

“Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments’” (Matthew 22:37-40, NIV).

We are called to love and community because our identity is tied up within our need for relationship.  Therefore, right from the beginning of time, we were made to be in community: to know others and be known by others, to love and be loved.

We find purpose in community.  We find love in community.  We find God in community.

Jane Austen knew it.  And God created it.

Tim

Tim is living the newlywed life in Northern Idaho with his best friend, Emily.  He’s a triathlete, coffee connoisseur, and trumpet/guitar/piano player.  Seeing families connect with each other and with God is his passion.  He currently serves as the Youth Pastor at Coeur d’Alene Bible Church.

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My One Word and A New Series

~ Emily ~ 8 Comments

This post was supposed to be a vlog (video blog), but I chickened out.  I told myself I didn’t have time.  Let’s be real.  My perfectionism would turn a 2-3 minute video in to a whole day project. So, technically, I really didn’t have time…

In this vlog, I was going to introduce the One Word, which has swiftly turned into three or four words (but who’s counting?), that will shape Primitive Roads this year.  AND, I was going to introduce a coinciding series that’s starting here on Wednesday.  Until I conquer my stage fright, you’ll have to stick with a normal post.

This past week, I said goodbye to my childhood home.

Since I hadn’t been back to Southern California in four months, I was too busy enjoying family, friends, and Mexican food to thoroughly process the last-time-here truth. Ten very formative years were spent in that home and I won’t be sleeping there the next time I’m in California.

It’s weird.  It’s sad.  It’s more weird than sad.  That’s mostly because I’m realizing (not in a pleasantly passive way, but in a yourworldischangingandyoucantstopit type way) that life isn’t static.

Even the things I perceive as consistent change over time.  Different seasons demand different boundaries, different desires, and different priorities.

As seasons shift, it’s important to shift with them or pray for a shiftable spirit.

I have preserved a fairly immovable spirit during this new season.  Much has changed in the past year and I’ve often been immobilized by all the newness.  For the sake of my emotional and spiritual health, it’s time to be intentional about praying for shiftiness (in the best sense of the word, of course).

My word/theme for 2013 – in life and here on Primitive Roads – is intentionality.  I’d like to be more purposeful about my words, my thoughts, my actions.

What better area to start being intentional than community – another of my words.

I’ve experienced a major shift in community the past few months and struggle to accept a new season of friendships, accountability, and fellowship.

Though drastically opposite of my natural proclivity, it’s about time I started jogging this primitive road instead of tripping over the pebbles.  January posts will look at community – an area I need to infuse with purpose – from a wide range of perspectives.

Won’t you join me on this primitive road towards intentional community?

Community Series

 

Dear Older Women {31 Days of Letters}

~ Emily ~ 8 Comments

Dear Older Women,

It may be out of your comfort zone to strike up a conversation with someone 20 years younger than you, but it may be one of the most (mutually) rewarding things you can do.  Reaching out to the next generation produces fruit well beyond a neighborhood walk or a coffee date.

You probably don’t realize the gifts you have to offer and how much us younger women need what you have to give.  We need your encouragement, support, and Godly counsel.  We need to hear about your triumphs and failures, your joys and sorrows.

You have the opportunity to pour into others what God has poured into you.  We may seem unapproachable or disinterested sometimes, but keep hounding us.  Once we experience the benefits of consistent accountability, wisdom, and friendship from an older woman, you won’t be able to keep us away.

Please come alongside us, disciple us, help us become women after God’s own heart.  Encourage us to love our husbands and children.  Challenge us to serve selflessly.  Stir up in us a passion for prayer and studying Scripture.  Model what it means to live a pure and set-apart life for Christ.

There is an eternal return on your investment.  You plant Godly seeds in us that will be sown in our relationships with others.  Good fruit will be passed on to our family, friends, and coworkers.  Your investment trickles down to the next generation as we follow your lead and begin pouring into the young women we encounter.

You have an important role to play in the spiritual formation of younger women.  We are eager to let you become an active part of our lives.  Please do.

Sincerely,

Emily

You can find all my letters here.

For more information about the 31 Day Challenge, visit The Nester.

Dear Ash {31 Days of Letters}

~ Emily ~ 5 Comments

Dear Ash,

I think we could be poster children for the old adage, “opposites attract.”  If our physical appearances weren’t enough – my six feet with blonde hair and blue eyes verses your five-ish feet with green/brown/hazel eyes and curly, brown hair – our personality types are pretty drastically different.  My reserved self has always been in awe of your ability to engage a crowd.  You could make a tree laugh with one of your stories and I’m better off writing about my escapades.

In defiance of these differences, our friendship works.  Our history spans a quarter-century and we have the pictures, crushes, letters, embarrassing moments (some on tape… eg: falling off swing in southern belle costume), laughter and tears to prove it.  Like many friendships, ours was not devoid of bad boundaries, hurt feelings, and lulls in communication.

I am ever so glad that God redeemed the locust years, per se, and renewed our friendship.  With God as the center, our relationship has a whole new dimension that not only pushes me closer to our Abba, but also gives me a deep appreciation for having a friend who is so different than me.

Though I could make a lengthy list of all the things I love about you and what our friendship means to me, I wanted to point out two differences between us that have taught me so much about being a Godly woman: 1. your fearless vulnerability and 2. your intimacy with God.

As Anne Jackson would say, you have the “gift of seconds.”  Your honesty and openness is refreshing and challenging.  God gives you the boldness to share first so those of us who are silenced by shame, fear, or pride have an easier time going second.  I have mentally and verbally fessed up to struggles and sins that I would not have normally had the courage to think or speak.  But, because you were willing to be transparent, I was able to follow suit.

I’ve always been a bit envious of the way you talk about God.  You hear His voice in the inner most parts of your being and are able to articulate what He is revealing.  You see Him as the lover that He is.  Your intimacy with God has pushed me to reevaluate how I approach my own relationship with Him.  I have to remind myself that God woes and pursues me, but that idea seems to come naturally to you.  You’ve prompted me to open my heart to God as the Lover of My Soul.

So, I thank you for your vulnerability with me and your intimacy with Christ.  They have thrust me deeper into God’s arms.

This was in a post that you must read.

 …she told me why it was beautiful to HER and in that way, SHE became more beautiful to me. Because she let me see her and hear her story with all its unique markings and pain and hope and love.

It made me think of you and how you reveal beauty and how much I love seeing your beauty being revealed.  Being involved in your story, hearing about its unique markings, pain, hope, and love has made you even more important to me.

I love you!

Em

You can find all my letters here.

For more information about the 31 Day Challenge, visit The Nester.

Dear Sarah Rose {31 Days of Letters}

~ Emily ~ 4 Comments

Dearest Sarah,

Your letters always come at the right time.  You words are full of encouragement, commiseration, affirmation, and wisdom.  I have so appreciated your correspondence and regret that I have not been as good a pen pal.

My best intentions before we moved were to tell you how much your friendship means to me – via note, of course, because I am much better at expressing those things via written words (to a fault).  I’ve been avoiding the task  for the past month for fear of not being able to properly say all that I want to say.  But, it’s high time I at least made an attempt!

When I first met you at the Urane’s, I had no idea you would become such an important person in my life.  I sat across the living room from a girl with a contagious laugh, great teeth (yeah, I notice weird things), and pretty, dark curls.  We watched The Bachelor among mutual friends and parted ways with little thought of meeting again.  Mere months later, we were sleeping in the same bed, overseeing a bunch of crazy 9th grade girls during Disciple Now.  God works in mysterious ways…

After I started volunteering with youth group, we got to know each other in a much more sane environment – no Party In The USA karaoke on two hours of sleep…  I wish I could say that our friendship was born with a pure heart and clean motives, but I wasted a lot of those early months being jealous.  I was so threatened by your obvious (and God given) talents/abilities/passions.  You are a natural leader, gifted in working with youth, and a lovely person on the outside (inside too!! I just wasn’t focused on that at the time…).

I wasn’t mature enough to look beyond my envy and see the jewell of a friend that God was providing.  Lucky for me, God eventually got through to me and, for the most part, I stopped being such a turd.

I regret the time wasted in petty dislike but am blessed by what our friendship has become.  I’m not sure I have ever encountered someone who was so similar to me and, yet, so different.  Those differences have challenged my perspective on community, women in ministry, relationships and stretched my understanding of the God we both serve.

Sarah, I’ve always admired your faith in God’s provision during uncertain circumstances.  In situations where I would have freaked out and concocted my own solutions, you trusted God with the future – the future of your finances, your education, your housing, and your job.

You are a generous friend, a loyal friend, a thoughtful and encouraging friend.  You are a gorgeous woman, a strong woman, a smart and talented woman.  You are an Ideal.

This past season deserves another letter entirely, but let me say this: I have seen more beauty in you through this whole mess than during any other part of our friendship.  I may be dating myself (is 25 too young to be doing that?), but I was reminded of a Crystal Lewis song…  Since I can’t grace you with my tunefulness at this time, here are the lyrics:

I once was lost but God has found me.  Though I was bound I’ve been set free.  I’ve been made righteous in His sight, a display of His splendor all can see.
He gives beauty for ashes, strength for fear.  Gladness for mourning, peace for despair.

Know that there is plenty more I could say about how wonderful you are.  I miss having coffee with you.  I miss talking about books and laughing over our shared perfectionist tendencies.  I miss doing life with you on a day to day basis.

Thank you for your friendship during old seasons and new.  I love you sister-friend!

So much love,

Em

You can find all my letters here.

For more information about the 31 Day Challenge, visit The Nester.