Conversation in Community

Since I’m admitting that I bought and devoured The Art of Civilized Conversation (which is a great read), you’ll know that making small talk isn’t one of my gifts.  Writing is my preferred mode of communication and until it’s socially acceptable to craft dialogue on index cards at a party, I would rather listen than speak.

When people get together, any number of things can be the center of conversation.  I would be the sort to refer to the weather.  One’s kids are sometimes a go-to topic while some venture into the realm of politics and foreign affairs.

FineLine

Often, I find myself talking about other people if there’s nothing else to be said.  “I saw on Facebook that George and Georgina went out to dinner last night.” or “Have you heard from Kelsey lately?”  I ask questions, sometimes idly, sometimes pryingly, to keep conversations going.  But, there’s a very fine line between facts and gossip – and most of the time, whether I intend to or not, I cross it.

I’m cautious not to malign my husband or family members, but I don’t always take the same precautions with other people.  My questions and topic choices don’t always encourage people to speak kindly of others, either.

In a gathering, especially of believers, our topics of conversation speak louder than we know.  If our lives are supposed to reflect God’s light, then Christ-followers in community should be positively glow-in-the-dark!

Psalm 111.1

Christian Community

Community exists to bring praise to God, more specifically, so that the good works of God will be proclaimed and remembered.  That verse in Psalms (above) was particularly poignant to me because it speaks specifically about Christian community.

Praise should be spilling forth amidst the upright and the congregation.  I’d like to roll my eyes and say, “well, obviously Christians would be praising God when they get together and when they’re at church,” but I know from my own example that we don’t always infuse conversations with praiseworthy topics.

Community is the perfect venue for proclaiming God’s work in our lives. Psalm 111 goes on to say, “the works of the Lord are great.  He has made His wonderful works to be remembered” (v.2,4). When we are in a group, we have a choice to gratify our lust for unnecessary details in other people’s lives, or to glorify God by remembering and praising Him.

Psalm 111.2,4

A consistent trait in the people I admire is an ability to infuse God into every conversation. It’s not annoying or obtrusive; it’s genuine, flowing from an honest heart and an authentic relationship with God.

I leave encounters with these people feeling encouraged – excited about what God is doing in their life and motivated in my own journey.  Should that not be the goal of every conversation?

My prayer: Lord, let my words be seasoned with love, joy, gratitude, and honesty.  May my contributions to conversations be what is praiseworthy and pointing towards You.  Help me to remember the wonderful works You have done in my life and share them with others.

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.  {Hebrews 10:23-25}

Community Series

 

 

What Jane Austen Taught Me About Community

This.  This is one of the multitudinous reasons why I love my husband.  Tim is kicking off January’s Community series with a post involving Jane Austen.  I’m so proud!

Community Series

What Jane Austen Taught Me About Community

Little did I know that when I started to delve into the world of Jane Austen as part of a Christmas present for my wife, I was going to run in to an important theological concept, one that is at the cornerstone of human relationships with God and others.  In the movie Mansfield Park, Henry Crawford tries to woo Fanny Price using this profound truth: “There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.”

This profound statement rings true in fictional stories of far off lands and in the hearts and minds of every individual who ever lived.  Humans have an instinctive desire to love and be loved, to know and be known – to be in community.  And this stems back to, well, before Adam and Eve.

ToLoveAndBeLoved

It starts with who God is.  We worship a God who exists in three persons: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.  Therefore, we worship a God who is in community.  And humans were created in the image of God – in community.

Genesis 1:26 states, “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness’” (NASB).

Through most of human history, many thought that being created in the image of God meant that we looked like God; that this referred to some physical quality.  However, within the last few centuries, theologians have found that being created in the image of God most likely refers to the relational aspect of our beings: our capacity to be in relationship with God and with others.

Consider Jesus’ response to the lawyer when he asked about the greatest commandment of the Law:

“Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments’” (Matthew 22:37-40, NIV).

We are called to love and community because our identity is tied up within our need for relationship.  Therefore, right from the beginning of time, we were made to be in community: to know others and be known by others, to love and be loved.

We find purpose in community.  We find love in community.  We find God in community.

Jane Austen knew it.  And God created it.

Tim

Tim is living the newlywed life in Northern Idaho with his best friend, Emily.  He’s a triathlete, coffee connoisseur, and trumpet/guitar/piano player.  Seeing families connect with each other and with God is his passion.  He currently serves as the Youth Pastor at Coeur d’Alene Bible Church.

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My One Word and A New Series

This post was supposed to be a vlog (video blog), but I chickened out.  I told myself I didn’t have time.  Let’s be real.  My perfectionism would turn a 2-3 minute video in to a whole day project. So, technically, I really didn’t have time…

In this vlog, I was going to introduce the One Word, which has swiftly turned into three or four words (but who’s counting?), that will shape Primitive Roads this year.  AND, I was going to introduce a coinciding series that’s starting here on Wednesday.  Until I conquer my stage fright, you’ll have to stick with a normal post.

This past week, I said goodbye to my childhood home.

Since I hadn’t been back to Southern California in four months, I was too busy enjoying family, friends, and Mexican food to thoroughly process the last-time-here truth. Ten very formative years were spent in that home and I won’t be sleeping there the next time I’m in California.

It’s weird.  It’s sad.  It’s more weird than sad.  That’s mostly because I’m realizing (not in a pleasantly passive way, but in a yourworldischangingandyoucantstopit type way) that life isn’t static.

Even the things I perceive as consistent change over time.  Different seasons demand different boundaries, different desires, and different priorities.

As seasons shift, it’s important to shift with them or pray for a shiftable spirit.

I have preserved a fairly immovable spirit during this new season.  Much has changed in the past year and I’ve often been immobilized by all the newness.  For the sake of my emotional and spiritual health, it’s time to be intentional about praying for shiftiness (in the best sense of the word, of course).

My word/theme for 2013 – in life and here on Primitive Roads – is intentionality.  I’d like to be more purposeful about my words, my thoughts, my actions.

What better area to start being intentional than community – another of my words.

I’ve experienced a major shift in community the past few months and struggle to accept a new season of friendships, accountability, and fellowship.

Though drastically opposite of my natural proclivity, it’s about time I started jogging this primitive road instead of tripping over the pebbles.  January posts will look at community – an area I need to infuse with purpose – from a wide range of perspectives.

Won’t you join me on this primitive road towards intentional community?

Community Series

 

Opportunity {five minute friday}

Despite the fact that I don’t do well with change, I have seized the opportunity to do some interesting things.  Interesting, as in amazing but sure to thrust me into new and different situations that will stretch my ability to adapt and trust that God is in control.

opportunity

  • I chose a college in the Midwest.
  • Studied abroad in two foreign countries.
  • In a whiz-bang decision, I became an innkeeper on the Central Coast of California.
  • Did a culinary internship at a bed and breakfast in Maine.
  • Spent two weeks in Serbia and two weeks in Kenya back-to-back.
  • Got married and moved to Northern Idaho.

All of these adventures started with the unknown – new locations and new jobs, not having any friends, and not have a specific timeline.

These opportunities for travel, fun, service, and education turned out to be opportunities for dependence and trust.

God gave me the opportunity to be adventurous and, with the same breath, extended His hand – an invitation to journey together along these fun but primitive roads.  He gave me an opportunity to conquer change and the unknown with His strength and His love.

Five Minute Friday

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100 Pound Loser

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Aside from latter elementary school and my junior high years when I was still little-girl-chubby, I never wrestled with being overweight.  Though I don’t currently struggle to maintain a healthy weight, I do struggle to maintain a healthy body image.

The past few years have been a battle.  Telling myself God’s truth wages war against my obsessive desire to be thin by the world’s standards.  I’ve spent my fair share of hours and days berating myself for that last cookie or for choosing a burger over salad.  My attitude towards food alternates between overly indulgent and unhealthily self-controlled.

Clearly, I’m still in battle.

Loosing baby weight is probably still a couple years in the future and I’ve never had 100 pounds to loose, but I resonated with much of Jessica Heights message in her new e-book, 100 Pound Loser.

Jessica successfully lost 100 pounds (wow!), and though she shares her strategy for losing weight, I appreciated her emphasis on just being healthy – physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Physically Healthy

God gave us our bodies and we have a responsibility to keep them in peek condition.

Mini goals should be everyone’s best friend.  Large tasks – whether weight loss or book writing, or marathon running – can seem daunting.  Broken down into approachable chunks staves off immediate defeat and discouragement.

I also like Jessica’s attitude toward cravings.  Best to indulge a craving with moderation than try to ignore it or pacify it with a subpar substitution.

Mentally Healthy

Body image issues can weigh heavily on the mind.  Battling against your body to lose weight or to keep from gaining weight is exhausting.  The way you view yourself in the process is just as important as the end result.

“When it comes down to it, issues of weight do affect the way we look, but they also affect the way we feel, and the way we function, emotionally and physically.” – JH

Spiritually Healthy

The spiritual components of a healthy body image is what I struggle with the most.  I rarely tell myself the truth – the truth that God created my body, therefore, it deserves my respect.  God cares more about my health than me being a size 2.

I love Jessica’s paraphrase of Proverbs 31:30.

“Conformity to contemporary beauty standards is deceptive and a stick-thin figure is fleeting, but a girl or woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

That’s what I want to model with my body image and what I hope to instill in my daughter some day.

100 Pound Loser by Jessica Heights

Jessica has managed to offer her perspective on major weight loss while keeping the focus on holistic health and respect for what God has given us to steward.

Even if you don’t’ have 100 pounds to lose, this book offers exhortation and application  for dropping excess body image baggage.

Find Jessica’s book on Amazon.