Dear Eustace {31 Days of Letters}

Dear Eustace,

After reading about you a few years ago, your story has never left my heart and mind.  I have Eustace moments frequently and wanted you to know that you aren’t alone – you are not the only reformed dragon around.

I’d like to think I started out more likable than your pre-Narnia self, but I am fully capable of acting like a greedy, teetotaling, know-it-all too.  You must agree, it’s pretty amazing how quickly dragon qualities appear.  Just one night “sleeping on a dragon’s hoard with greedy, dragonish thoughts in your heart and you’d become a dragon yourself.”

My bad attitudes and pride are monstrous and shocking, often appearing overnight after laying dormant for a spell.  The dragon-that-had-been-Emily rises her dark, lumpy self and destroys all in her path with fire.

I know what its like to not recognize yourself.  You wake up one morning and wonder who those claws belong to and why there’s steam coming from your nose.  The moment of truth is agonizing.  Your reflection isn’t pretty and the realization of what you’ve become is disheartening. Will you be like this forever?

And that gold bracelet of yours – I know what its like to be trapped by such finery. I have gold bracelets up the wazoo, things that I value because the world values them or idols I have created. I wear them greedily unaware that they are slowly cutting off feeling.  My finery becomes a tourniquet stemming the flow of the Spirit.  As I become more distracted by the gold bracelets and what they are doing to my arm, I become less sensitive to that still small voice calling me to freedom.

I know what it’s like to have Reepicheeps in your life who come beside you at your worst.  When you realize the errors of your dragon ways and are in the depths of despair, they comfort you, they stand up for you, they point you towards hope.

Most poignantly, I know what it’s like to have your scales ripped off.  I know the desire to de-dragon yourself.  I’ve tried to shed my own skin in hopes of maintaining control, but as you found out, it grows right back again.  It takes the claws of a lion to dig below the surface. There comes a point where you welcome a lion’s claws, willing to endure pain in order to feel the dead weight of thick, dark, knobbly looking layers fall off.

Eustace, you may have began quite dragony, eating raw meat and all, but in the end you were more the knight.  Thank you for reminding me that there is often pain in purification.

Sincerely,

Emily (fellow dragon)

The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart.  And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt.  The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off.  You know – if you’ve ever picked the scab of a sore place.  It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away.       {The Voyage of The Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis}

 

You can find all my letters here.

For more information about the 31 Day Challenge, visit The Nester.