When Someone Shares YOUR Gift

January 23, 2013 ~ Emily ~ 5 Comments

THE GIFT NICHE

Looking down at the plate of cupcakes, I was torn between admiration and envy. The ladybug toppers looked like they came straight from the pages of Hello, Cupcake!. I starred, wishing I could come up with a genuine compliment that didn’t have jealousy written all over it.

Those expertly decorated cupcakes were a birthday surprise for my husband’s supervisor. I may have been able to celebrate this pretty, petite girl’s kind gesture had she not innocently turned to Tim and asked when his birthday was, hinting he would also receive a plate of tasty treats come February.

My inner girlfriend (Tim and I were only dating at the time) was up in arms. This girl had inadvertently threatened my security. My hackles were raised less because she was doing something for my Tim, but because she was doing something (and excelling at it, I might add) that I considered my territory.

I was the stellar baker, the girl who gave good food gifts, the hospitality minded one. I considered these skills part of my specific gifting from God. Weren’t we always taught that there are many parts, but one body? (1 Corinthians 12:20). In the prideful compartment of my heart, I liked the thought that cooking/baking/hospitality was my niche in community. MY niche. I didn’t really want to share it.

The more my community changed – switching churches so Tim and I could worship together, moving to a different state – the more I encountered people with similar gifts. I could tell by my reactions of resentment and protectiveness that I had derived too much value from this self-prescribed niche.

My pride kept referring to verses about many members in one body, clinging to the part about differing gifts. I was striving to remain indignant about other people sharing my gifts. But, I couldn’t reconcile my prideful stance with what I knew was true about the purpose of community and how our gifts were supposed to operate within community.

THE TRUTH ABOUT COMMUNITY

Community builds up and encourages.

Community points others toward Christ.

Community is about Kingdom building not self-promotion.

Community shares.

Community fills in the gaps and works together.

Romans12.4

COMMUNITY AND THE GIFT NICHE

In light of what I knew was true about community, I couldn’t glaze over certain parts of the “many members, one body” verses I had previously used to support my pride.

Be honest in your estimate of yourselves, measuring your value by how much faith God has given you. Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are all parts of his one body and each of us has different work to do. And since we are all one body in Christ, we belong to each other, and each of us needs all the others. God has given each of us the ability to do certain things well. {Romans 12:3-6}

God had outlined the correct thing to do when people share your gift and I was disregarding virtually every bullet point.

Derive value from the faith God has given. Nope, I was busy measuring my value like it was five cups of all-purpose flour.
Each part has a special function. This was my defense, but I was ignoring the fact that our creator supersedes our gifts. We are merely parts of the whole, the whole being God.
We each have different work to do. Whether someone else has the same type of gift/niche that I do, we have different applications for that gift. Our sphere of influence is different and our personal history is different. My baking a plate of cookies for a neighbor is different than the cute cupcake baker taking a plate of her beautiful creations to a Campus Crusade meeting.
We need each other. As much as I love Simon & Garfunkel, we are not lonely rocks sitting in the sea, an island surrounded by nothing but water. We function as ONE body. I think I would combust under the pressure of being the sole arbiter of hospitality if only one person could fill that role. Our gifts are group territory, used to help carry the burdens of community.
God is the source of our gifts. It is only by God’s grace that I function the way I function. He gave me the ability to cook and bake well and it should be for His glory that I do those things.

So, the next time someone brings a dozen cupcakes that look like members of a big-top circus to a church potluck, I may have to swallow pride initially, but I will rejoice with them – rejoicing that they are creating in honor of The Creator, exercising their gifts for the benefit of His body (and my stomach!).

Go. Find. Use.

January 21, 2013 ~ Emily ~ Leave a comment

We have a history, this girl and I. A. R. (I gave her that pen name, thank you very much!) and I have weathered 25 years of friendship. She isn’t lying when she talks about being an observer. I’ve benefited from her insight on human nature, intimacy with God, and insanely funny sense of humor. Without further ado: A. R. Hamilton on community.

Go. Find. Use. by A.R. Hamilton

My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. {Colossians 2:2&3}

I must start this with a confession, one that is necessary for two reasons. What I am about to tell you is something that needs to be brought to light, for it is the ammo that my treasonous flesh offers to the enemy. But that is not the only reason, for if it was, I fear that I might not tell you. The second reason I must admit this is because it is also the thing that God uses the most for good in the community that I reside in—the place where I gather for fellowship with my brothers and sisters in Christ.

There is this strength called individualization. (It’s from the strengths finder test – reference for those of you who have taken this test, but for those of you who haven’t, it’s insignificant, keep reading.)

The people who have this strength are keen observers, noticing the uniqueness of each individual and the strengths that they bring to the table. This person not only notices these things in people, but they enjoy gathering this information; they enjoy observing how each person thinks, builds relationships, and finds motivation.

I have this strength. So I both innately and intentionally, for I really do enjoy it, notice little things about people, particularly my friends. However, I have been made aware that it is not just my friends.

In the last two weeks, there have been two individuals who, I must admit, I don’t know very well, even though they reside in my community and have for quite some time now. In my last encounters with both of these individuals, I noticed that something was wrong. I noticed that they were not “okay.” Initially, however, I did not approach either of them about this.

For two reasons: As I said, we are not close. But also, I feared that in approaching them I might discover that I was wrong. For I couldn’t help but also note how seemingly “okay” they seemed to the others. The first individual ended up confirming my suspicion by later sharing what was going on. The second, however, I asked.

After a long talk about the hardships she has been facing, she thanked me for asking; she especially thanked me for noticing. And as I walked away, I couldn’t help but give credit to God. Not out of modesty, but because He had made me very aware that it had nothing to do with anything that I did. It was the strangest thing – noticing something so personal in someone that I barely knew.

My point. This strength gives me two things. First, it gives me the God given ability to know the specific way that someone needs to be encouraged in that moment – insight to what it is that would build them up. But also, it gives me the insight as to what it is that would tear them down. Since I am both flesh and Spirit, gathering both of those things in my observance of others comes natural to me.

Actually my point. We each have a strength that I believe He uses the most in order to build up the members of our communities. The communities that we are all commanded to not just reside in, but go to for the encouragement that we need to keep running this race, to keep fighting for the expansion of the Kingdom of God. Within each of us He has planted a gift that He intended us to use to encourage the hearts of others, to unite us together with love, and to bring us into understanding the full riches and mysteries of God.

For, just as we each have a unique gift, we each have a unique relationship with Him; no one knows God in the specific way that we personally do. By sharing that relationship in our community, and using the gifts that are a part of that relationship, together we gain a better understanding of Him. We become a place where hearts are healed and souls are set free from the bondage of sin. We become a force to be reckoned with. We become the tangible members of God.

My petition to you: find your strength and figure out how He wants you to use it. If you do not know, ask Him. He will tell you, I promise. For it is the desire of His heart that we use this gift how He intended us to.

Join the conversation! What are your strengths? How do you see God using them for good in your community? Are there ways your strengths go rouge?

A.R. Hamilton is almost finished with her second Masters Degree from California State University San Bernardino. When she’s done, she’ll have an MA in Education with a focus in curriculum and instruction and concentration in English and an MA in Composition and Rhetoric. When she’s not in school, A.R. is mentoring high school girls or learning more about personality types.

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Cherished {Five Minute Friday}

January 18, 2013 ~ Emily ~ Leave a comment

CHERISHED

I’m writing a guest post for Pure & Simple (check these ladies out – I love the heart and vision behind their blog and the design is beautiful) and the theme is Cherish. My mind has been full of this word for the past week, so it was fun that Lisa-Jo picked cherished as this week’s word for Five Minute Friday.

For fear of using all the content from my guest post, I’m going to avoid talking about my husband or marriage or love in these five (now three) minutes.

Cherish is a beautiful sentiment. I appreciate the nuances of value and treasure embedded in the meaning. To cherish is to hold tightly, to remember, to keep something close.

The things you cherish are special; they have meaning. I recently went through my stuffed animals on a trip home and more than the bunny (because they were all bunnies) itself, I cherish each one because fond memories are attached to the object.

The people you cherish are dear and beloved. You treasure moments of laughter, of tears, of living life with that person. Whether they are near or far, you cherish those memories because you value time spent with them.

I recently read Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts. The challenge to count joys has been a fruitful exercise for me. So also, I think, would counting cherished moments, cherished people, and cherished things in my life. I would not be able to deny the many blessing God has given and continues to give.

Rosemary Currant Bread

January 16, 2013 ~ Emily ~ 3 Comments

One of the restaurants I miss the most in SoCal is a little French inspired cafe in San Marino. Julienne has the best hot chocolate I’ve had in the States and is my favorite place to go out for breakfast. My mom have been going there for 10 years. We know the staff and the staff know us. Herbert always remembers to fill my empty mug with coffee after I finish my hot chocolate. He also knows we like an order of their rosemary toast to tide us over before our food comes.

I was so disappointed that their rosemary currant bread wasn’t in Julienne’s cookbook. (The Graham Chewy Bars are well worth the price of the cookbook). I wanted to replicate those perfectly toasted pieces of chewy bread, speckled with sweet currants and rosemary.

When Farmgirl Fare (check out her beer bread recipe – amazing!) had a recipe for Rosemary Raisin Bread, I hoped that with a few tweaks, it would turn out like Julienne’s.

It did! And, my mom happened to be visiting when I tried it. She approves. As does my husband, who is also a huge Julienne fan.

Rosemary Currant Bread

I chose dried currants instead of raisins 1. because that’s what Julienne’s bread has, and 2. currants are smaller, less plump, and give an intense burst of flavor.

Call me a lazy baker, but I adapted the original recipe for my bread maker. If you want to make it the old fashioned way, just use the ingredients listed in my recipe and follow the instructions given by Farmgirl (linked above).

Rosemary Currant Bread

1/2 cup warm milk

4 large eggs, beaten

4 Tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil

3 ¾ cups bread flour (1 lb, 2¾ oz – 533 g)

2 teaspoons instant yeast

2 Tablespoon dried rosemary

1½ teaspoons salt

1 cup dried currants

Add the ingredients, except dried currants, to your bread machine in the order listed: wet first, then dry.

Adjust bread machine setting for a “large light” loaf. If the dough begins to knock hard against the pan, add a tablespoon more milk.

The large-light setting should give you time, about 20 minutes in, to add additional ingredients. (Mine beeps when it’s time to add the mix-ins). Add dried currants.

This is a LARGE loaf. I was a bit concerned the first time I made it because the dough pressed against the top of the sneak-peek window of my machine while baking. No need to worry; it bakes up perfectly.

I love this bread warm so I take it out of the pan immediately. Slice and slather with butter. It’s also delicious toasted with jam or as the vehicle for any sandwich fixings.

Kindred Grace & Rubrics

January 15, 2013 ~ Emily ~ 2 Comments

Part of building community is finding like-minded people to surround you, keep you accountable, and support you. Part of building an online community is producing edifying content and providing a place to fellowship and connect with those like-minded people.

It’s a huge treat when both happen at once. Writing for Kindred Grace (formerly Young Ladies Christian Fellowship) has forged community in person and online. Gretchen and the Kindred Grace team has worked for years to create a “haven for hearts”, as you will, for women of all seasons.

I’m new to their team but have been immensely encouraged by the vision of Kindred Grace and each team member’s desire to honor God with their words. We hope you find words of grace, of joy, of honesty, and of hope in the pages of our online community.

Today on Kindred Grace, I’m talking about my misguided quest for perfection.

Rubric of Grace

Sometimes goals and plans for the upcoming year become an agent for self-condemnation. Instead of my resolutions being a loose guide for the year ahead, those intentions become requirements the minute I write them down.

Read the rest here!