When The Tree Falls Over

PrimitiveAll Charlie Brown Christmas trees are not alike.  There’s copious charm in the original concept – a tiny tree with baby branches, scarcely decorated with budding greenery.  The small frame looks cheery despite bald spots and piney peach fuzz.  But, the cartoon charm doesn’t always translate to real life.

What happens when the Charlie Brown tree hits puberty?  You end up with a tree like ours – a tall tree with skinny frame and gangly limbs.  Pine needles are sprouting but in all the wrong places.

A couple more years and our Chuck Brown tree would likely live up to its Noble namesake, but for now, we have a teenager tree making himself at home in our living room.

This is my portion of primitive – Christmas style.

I love picking out a tree, but my normal practices don’t usually involve a four hour tromp through the National Forest with a chainsaw.

Instead of standing up a bunch of trees at the local lot to find the fullest, greenest Fir, Tim and I roamed the woods looking for a tree that had enough branches to hold all our ornaments. Instead of being bound and tied to the car roof, Tim forded a river with the tree hoisted on his shoulder before it was thrown in a trailer.  Instead of burying the lights deep in and out of the close packed branches, I struggled to hide plugs in the sparse foliage.

As much as I enjoyed the experience of chopping down our own tree (and only spending $5), I wrestled with the imperfection of it all.  Branches drooped under the weight of lights and ornaments.  Longer decorations couldn’t hide bare patches.  The entire tree leaned to one side.

LightI professed appreciation for the Charlie Brown resemblance, but secretly wanted the trimmed and shaped Noble Firs of years past.

Then, in the dusk of evening, when those pesky lights were plugged in, I was mesmerized by the beauty of that tannenbaum.  Bright bulbs cast a glow overshadowing the imperfections.  In fact, the soft glow of the colored lights made those gaps and gangly qualities seem intentionally unique.

I started to see what light can do in the darkness of flaws.

Nature groomed our tree to be a stunning representation of what our lives look like to God. Our Charlie Brown qualities were hand-crafted by Him and look especially lovely in the light of His love.

As if I needed further prompting to embrace joy in my Christmas portion of primitive, our tree toppled head first into the middle of the living room just as National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation was starting.

How to have a Mary Christmas

How is always the hardest part for me.  What and why are simple enough, but how is a different story.

Where do you start when what you want to do calls for stillness, silence, and sitting?

I don’t know how to turn on a switch and be still.  If I manage to sit down, my mind is inevitably whirring with activity.

I’m realizing that having a Mary Christmas isn’t accomplished through action steps, even if the actions are stillness, silence, and sitting.  A Mary Christmas comes by choice – a choice to slow down and focus my mind.

When I make space to dwell on the season, I’m forced to slow down. I can’t hurry past my Savior when meditating on the joy, peace, glory, and wonder surrounding His earthly beginning. Slowing down is a non-negotiable when my soul is frozen in awe.

The how becomes inextricable from a heart meditating on Jesus. I take cues from the heart of other key players in the humbling narrative of Christ’s birth.

Sing with Mary:

My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.

His mercy is on those who fear Him from generation to generation.

{Luke 1:46-47,50}

 

Praise God with the heavenly hosts:

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!

{Luke 2:14}

Rejoice with Simeon:

For my eyes have seen Your salvation which You have prepared before the face of all peoples, a light to bring revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of Your people Israel.

{Luke 2:30-32}

Let our Savior inspire stillness with joy, with awe, with wonder. Let praise and glory bloom in the silence of your heart.

———————

My aunt shared these thoughts with me recently:

Someone once said something to the effect: the words don’t have to be spelled right, don’t have to be perfectly written to be beautiful. So it is with Christmas. The house does not need to be perfectly decked nor the presents perfectly wrapped. The most perfect of “home”  has already been set. The stable – no bells, whistles, decorations, fancy wrapped gifts – just God’s perfect plan. 

God’s perfect plan for Christmas is not perfection. A Mary Christmas follows His example of simplicity and a heart swelling with our Savior.

How will you celebrate a Mary Christmas?

 

Why have a Mary Christmas?

Martha is the pesky option on multiple choice tests that is meant to distract you from the correct answer.  It seems viable, but misses the mark ever so slightly.  Martha is a deceivingly good option and is, in many ways, the right choice, just not the BEST answer.

Martha’s approach isn’t wrong, but her priorities are off.  Her service isn’t bad, but Mary’s stillness is better.

Why is sitting and silence the better way?  Why is it important to try for a Mary Christmas in a Martha season?

I discovered an answer in a commonly practiced holiday activity – decorating the Christmas tree, which Tim and I did yesterday.

Our Christmas tree extravaganza involved mucking around the National Forest with a chainsaw, seven strands of colored lights (plus one white strand, because two trips to Lowe’s in an hour is quite enough), and evenly dispersing ornaments throughout our large, but decidedly Charlie Brown-esque, tree.

During the process, which was spread over a couple days due to scheduling conflicts and sickness, I was reminded why I let my mom and brother handle the lights.  Now that it’s just Tim and I, lights are a troublesome catch 22: I either forfeit control and let Tim do it, or do it myself and be displeased with the less than perfect results…

Beyond my OCD tendencies with the lights, putting up the Christmas tree is one of my favorite traditions.  I enjoy picking out the best Noble Fir, untangling the copious strands of lights (my job since I don’t string them), and hanging all our family ornaments.

My absolute favorite part of the Christmas tree experience is when the tree is all decorated and someone turns off the lights – nothing is glowing but the tree.  We stand back in silence, admiring the beautiful scene.

Red, blue, green, pink, and orange glow softly, glistening off metal and glass hidden in the fragrant boughs.  I inevitably sit for hours gazing at the tree, letting my eyes rest on each ornament, my sight fixed on one memory after another.

The work of setting up the tree sometimes distracts me from truly appreciating all of the beauty and memories that have been created and will be created.  It is only when I sit and gaze a while that I fully absorb what each ornament means to my heart and my history.

A decorated tree takes work and the work is good.  Enjoying the tree requires time – time to sit still and look, see and remember.

The bustling and busyness of a Martha Christmas can be fun and enjoyable, but it is only when we choose a Mary Christmas that we intentionally slow down and can fully rejoice in the gifts from God that are celebrated during this season.

 

Have a Mary Christmas in a Martha World

 

I want to have a Mary Christmas – not merry and not Mary, the momma of Jesus.  I want to have a Mary, sister of Martha, Christmas.

If you’re not familiar with this Mary, find her story in Luke 10:38-42.

Two sisters with two very different approaches to serving their Lord.  Martha bustles and Mary sits.  Martha works and Mary listens.  Martha worries much and Mary worries little.  Mary chose the better way.

I am a Martha.

I do and do until my doings distract me from worship.  My doings become the heart behind my service instead of the One who I do them for.

Holidays kick my Martha in to full gear.

My Martha spirit says I must recreate everything on my Christmas Pinterest board to insure my house looks like a veritable winter wonderland.  I feel the need to put up every Christmas decoration I own for fear of being a festive failure.

Not only do I want my first married Christmas to be significant and special, but I also have a compulsion to replicate the good memories from every Christmas past, which means a long list of things to do and recipes to make.

The Martha in me would work 24/7 to make all of those things happen.  In the process, she transforms traditions into to-do lists and tasks.

 

Mary Martha

Part of me wants to stand up for Martha.  How would my home look festive and how would December feel like Christmas time if I didn’t work, work, work at doing it all?

But, wouldn’t December 25th come and go even if every nook and cranny of my house didn’t have some Christmas paraphernalia or if I didn’t decorate Christmas cookies or we didn’t have a big holiday hoopla?

When Martha strives to create a winter wonderland, Mary just sits in simple wonder at the feet of her Savior.

I want a Mary Christmas this year.

Pray For A Blog?

I finally did it, an act of surrender that God was prompting with very vivid lessons in patience and perseverance.

I prayed over my blog.

Where fingers usually skim across the black keys, taping out words as quick as they come to mind, my hand rested with fingers still on the keyboard. Where eyes are usually trained with focus and attention, my head bowed with eyes closed before the opened screen.

I felt pretty silly sitting there, silent and unseeing, with laptop on my knees. I was secretly pleased Tim wasn’t there to observe my unusual posture.

That posture was long in coming, and I regret that it had not been executed earlier.

I was finally praying that Primitive Roads would be completely placed in God’s hands.  I view this blog as ministry just as much as I view it as a hobby.  I so want it to be a space where people experience and know God, not just read about Him.

It took the process of switching Primitive Roads from wordpress.com to wordpress.org for me to realize that my blog had become just that – MY blog.

Though I am pleased that Primitive Roads has survived the migration, it has certainly endured much troubleshooting, adjusting, and overall technical fine tuning in the process.

I spent hours on Live Chat with Host Gator (PS – they are awesome!) fixing URL problems on top of the hours I spent manually (I now realize there are plugins that can do these things…) redirecting links and minimizing photo file sizes.

If I wasn’t wanting to throw a brick through my computer when I first started the transfer, by the end I was sending my blood pressure sky-high with frustration at my lack of blogging tech-savvy.  My mind would not turn off with updates and corrections I needed to make, and I was so disheartened as traffic began to drop.

As feelings of defeat crept in, the biggest problem became apparent – I was striving for success, success for myself.

Primitive Roads had become all about me. I wanted people to read MY words and make MY recipes and subscribe to MY blog.

And that’s why I found myself with palms open on my keyboard, praying for Primitive Roads.

This is a little of how my prayer went:

Primitive Roads is YOURS!  Do with my words as YOU please.  Let my striving be for YOUR glory.  If I boast in anything, let me boast in YOU and what YOU have done.

Lord, Primitive Roads isn’t about me.  It’s about YOU.  May my choices, time, and words in blogging reflect my love for You and Your love for us.

Help me to maintain good boundaries and priorities.  You first. Tim second.  Ministry third.

Please continue to give me Your vision as we navigate these primitive roads together!

Your daughter,

Emily

It may be weird, to pray for a blog, to pray with hands laid on a computer, but I will continue to be weird.

How do you keep your ministry surrendered to God?