Soreness in Your Soul

April 22, 2013 ~ Emily ~ 3 Comments

My alarm went off yesterday morning with a steady cadence of groan producing honks. Normally I’m already surfacing by the time it goes off, and my hand is quick to swing over and hit the snooze button before I rouse myself enough to shut the fool thing off properly. This time, I was still cradled snuggly in dream land when my alarm started. Those steady pulses of rakish noise coming from my bedside table sent my heart pumping at an alarming clip as I moved my arm to silence the sound.

The adrenaline coursing through my body from being jolted awake wasn’t strong enough to mask the stiffness I felt as I rolled over and poked my hand out from beneath the warm covers. I could feel every muscle tighten and resist all forms of unnecessary movement. My abs protested when I sat up, a knot in my lower back making its presence known. Up and down my body, muscles I didn’t even know I had ached.

After a week off, I must have been overly enthusiastic at Shake and Tone {my favorite class at the gym}. I was sore, but a good kind of sore. Even though my muscles ache for days, I can always feel my body getting stronger after a week of challenging workouts. I have a sense of accomplishment when I leave a class red faced, breathing hard, and an even more prominent sense of progress when I wake up with sore muscles.

Sore muscles mean I have stretched my limits. Sore muscles mean I have worked hard and long. Sore muscles mean I am growing in strength and endurance. Sore muscles mean that next time around those leg lifts and lateral raises won’t be so difficult.

I willingly put my body through such riggers multiple times a week. I walk into the gym knowing I will spend an hour huffing and puffing. I will dance {it IS called Shake and Tone…}, squat, lunge, lift, and crunch until I’m dripping sweat. I’m never sorry I did it.

~~~

I’ve been feeling spiritually sluggish lately and I think I know why. I have neglected to give my spirit the same workout I so willingly give my body. Those sore muscles? I crave the same soreness for my soul.

I don’t want to languish in a convenient faith, making lame excuses for being a couch potato Christian. My faith should be dynamic, my heart pulled taught and straining with the love of Christ. My relationship with God should be growing, stretched until it breaks then rebuilt on a firmer foundation.

The particulars of a spiritual workout are still developing in my heart and mind, but here are some of my initial ideas for getting my soul into shape. One thing is for sure – just like keeping in physical shape requires discipline, I know I’ll need a game plan.

Wrestle with God – Jacob did it and I want to as well. There is no better opponent to my doubts/fear/anxiety than God Almighty.
Lift others up in prayer – Interceding for others is often more healing that praying for yourself. I’m tired of my prayer life being so self-centered.
Record how God is working. When people ask, I want to have a ready example of God’s transformative power.
Memorize Scripture – What better defense is there then Truth imbedded in your heart. Added bonus: keeps your brain sharp, too!
Jump over any hurdles – I shudder to think, “what if I had said no?” for so many things in my life. I don’t want to let excuses get in the way of being used by God.
Challenge my limits – My personal best isn’t always the best I can do WITH God. He enables me to see, think, feel, and do things in a different way. It’s time to let God set the standard.

Above all, I know I need to practice. If these things are not put into action, I won’t see results. I’m a bit intimidated by this list, but there’s a spark of excitement too. I can see past the struggle and pain. I can see God molding and shaping a little lump of clay into a sturdy vessel.

I will sweat. I will cry. I will fail.

I will love. I will grow. I will stretch.

And you can bet that my soul will be sore.

GYM { I like via photopin cc } HOOP { Funky64 (www.lucarossato.com) via photopin cc }

Solid Food

March 25, 2013 ~ Emily ~ 11 Comments

I’m almost 26 and I still have a difficult time processing that I’m an adult doing adultish things. I don’t consciously go about my day thinking I’m in my mid-twenties until I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror and fail to see high school Emily staring back at me.

Instead, I see a married (young) woman with an apartment, a car, and a job. I see someone who travels by herself, makes meals, does laundry, and buys toiletries (which all seem grown-up to me). I’m always taken aback when real life forces me to own up to adulthood.

Last week was one of those real life weeks. Tim and I dealt with taxes, dentist appointments, doctors appointments, and every type of insurance. We spent a lot of money on things that aren’t fun to spend money on and sacrificed plans we hadn’t planned on sacrificing. I’ll spare you the details of these transactions since most of you are probably already thinking, “Yes, Emily, that’s part of growing up and being an adult…” Suffice it to say, it was just an unpleasant, overly adultish week.

It’s in the midst of those weeks when I’m bombarded with the reality of maturing and growing up that I can fully appreciate the illustration Paul uses to talk about spiritual maturity.

You have been Christians a long time now, and you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things a beginner must learn about the scriptures.

You are like babies who drink only milk and cannot eat solid food. And a person who is living on milk ins’t very far along in the Christian life and doesn’t know much about doing what is right. Solid food is the for those who are mature, who have trained themselves to recognize the difference between right and wrong and then do what is right.

Hebrews 5:12-14 | NLT

There’s a natural progression of growing up in both our physical life and spiritual life. We start with a level of immaturity and grow from there. Being a baby, or young in the faith, is just part of the journey; but staying that way is most definitely not part of the plan.

Food helps us grow and mature. The type of food we eat changes as we develop. Milk is easy to digest (unless of course you are lactose intolerant), but it gets old after awhile. Solid food offers variety, but it can be more difficult to digest. Hence, babies start out with a milk diet and progress to solid food as they grow.

Solid food requires effort – you have to buy it, prepare it, chew it, and clean up after eating it. The work does pays off eventually, though, as you begin to develop a taste for the abundance of food God created. There’s discovery and adventure in trying new foods or a different preparation style, but like any cook knows, a bad recipe or failed attempt can be discouraging. That’s when milk seems like a really good option…

Sometimes, childhood seems like a really good option, too. All I want to do is revert back to life with no bills and no responsibilities. It was certainly easier when all I had to worry about was getting A’s and making my bed. Then, I think about my husband, the job that allows me to travel, and the sense of accomplishment I get when we pay off debt. Those things wouldn’t be possible if I was still drinking the milk of my childhood.

Being an adult is difficult, but it is also fulfilling. I want my adult life to be mature just like I want my spiritual life to be mature, which requires solid food. Taxes, paying pills, making decisions on my own, using money wisely – that is solid food.

Paul’s exhortation to backsliding Christians has certainly been a poignant image in my mind this past week, and will continue to be, as I take on adulthood one bite of solid food at a time.

Growth won’t come without solid food. You just have to embrace the changes required in the process.

{photo credit: Biblioteca de Arte-Fundação Calouste Gulbenkian via photopin cc}

The Problem With Judas

March 18, 2013 ~ Emily ~ 4 Comments

Early in the morning, all the chief priests and the elders of the people made their plans how to have Jesus executed. So they bound him, led him away and handed him over to Pilate the governor. When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.” So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.

{Matthew 27:1-5}

Judas believed that Jesus was who He said He was.

But Judas was a manipulator – the ultimate manipulator.

When Jesus didn’t act like Judas thought a Messiah should act – storming in to take His throne – he tried to force his Master’s hand.

Judas worked to create a situation that would force Jesus to take His rightful place as king.

What better way to do that than betray Him to the authorities. It was the perfect set-up. When faced with certain death, or at least imprisonment – Jesus would have to unleash His full power.

Right?

Again, Jesus didn’t meet his expectations.

He didn’t fight. He didn’t resist. He didn’t upset the government.

Jesus displayed more power and might in His meekness and humility than any king. With the ultimate sacrifice, Jesus proved He was the Messiah.

And Judas’ mistake was exposed with a sickening reality.

His Lord had died and he had a hand in killing Him.

Judas missed the mark with his manipulating and then missed the mark again by ending his own misery with death.

Overcome with guilt and grief, Judas hurried his own death and missed the glorious resurrection of Jesus.

Judas missed Jesus taking the ultimate throne.

The problem with Judas is he wanted Jesus to fit into a Judas-made Jesus box.

I can be a Judas. I have constructed plenty of Emily-made Jesus boxes.

When God doesn’t act the way I want, I try to manipulate Him. I use my own planning powers to make things happen the way I think they should happen.

Invariably, I regret my decision and purger myself for missing the mark again.

But Christ didn’t die for me to manipulate or for me to feel guilty. Jesus died so I could live in relationship with Him.

As Easter approaches, the time when we celebrate that glorious sacrifice and resurrection, I want to deconstruct boxes instead of building more.

I want to accept the grace so freely given and be content in the way Jesus chooses to shape my life.

May we celebrate what the Lord does and not what we think He should do.

Praying For Protection

March 14, 2013 ~ Emily ~ 4 Comments

Every time I leave for a work trip, I am reminded of a powerful passage in Francis Chan’s book Crazy Love {which is a phenomenal read} about what and why we pray for certain things – like safety.

I was convicted when I read it years ago and am convicted by the echo of his words today.

Haven’t we all prayed the following prayer? “Lord, we pray for safety as we travel. We ask that no one gets hurt on this trip. Please keep everyone safe until we return, and bring us back safely. In Jesus name we pray, amen.” The exact wording may vary a bit, but that is the standard prayer we recite before leaving on mission trips, retreats, vacations, and business trips.

We are consumed by safety. Obsessed with it, actually. Now, I’m not saying it is wrong to pray for God’s protection, but I am questioning how we’ve made safety our highest priority. We’ve elevated safety to the neglect of whatever would accomplish His purposes in our lives and in the world.

Francis Chan | Crazy Love | 133

This makes my mind reel with questions. What’s my motivation for praying for protection? Isn’t God bigger than my safety? Is safety what we are on Earth for? Don’t I trust God with His plans for my life, even if it includes harm? {or an untimely death, which is the underlying factor in my safety anxiety.} I wrestle with those questions every time I perceive my circumstances to be dangerous.

One hint of turbulence and I’m praying for God’s hands to surround that hunk of metal zooming through the clouds at 30,000 feet. When I take a wrong turn and wind up where lone females {especially ones that look confused and lost} shouldn’t be, I pray for a shield around my car.

Praying for protection isn’t inherently wrong. God asks that we bring everything to Him as a prayerful sacrifice, but we are also asked to trust and not try to manipulate God through our prayers. (<— tweet this)

Right after I breathe frightened entreaties, I am hit with Francis’ words that never seem to leave the back of my mind.

People who are obsessed with Jesus aren’t consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else. Obsessed people care more about God’s kingdom coming to this earth than their own lives being shielded from pain or distress.

Francis Chan | Crazy Love | 133

God’s plan is sovereign. Prayer is a way we partner with God, which leads to opened eyes and hearts to the wonderful ways He works in our lives and in the world around us. We pray so we can acknowledge God’s work not so we can take control of our circumstances. (<— tweet this)

God loves when we bring our troubles, joys, successes, and failures to His feet, but He wants us to offer them as pieces of our hearts and accept whatever may come.

When I am scared for my life, whether the threat is real or imagined, I’m often praying to rid myself of the undesirable circumstances, not for peace and courage to meet the circumstances with God as my strength. My fear is born from a lack of trust and confidence in God’s provision and perfect plan.

Francis Chan

I was in Orlando last week and had convinced myself one night that I was sure to be murdered in my hotel room {in my defense, someone had mistakenly tried to open my door rather forcefully around 11 pm which is what started this train of thought}.

Following the unsettling event, my sweet husband suggested {via Facetime} that I read Psalm 27. The Psalms are my safe zone, my spiritual third place, and I was reminded again why I find such comfort in the Psalms as I read over David’s words. David is an emotive and volatile personality who cries out to God in every sort of emotional state. I can relate…

Unlike me, David generally has a god grasp of God’s place in his life’s purpose and plan. David knows that God is eternal and He views His children with an eternal perspective. God answers prayers and gives protection with the eternal in mind, while I am often stuck in the present. (<— tweet this)

I’m familiar with Psalm 27, especially the beginning and the end. {The Lord is my light and my salvation: Whom shall I fear?…Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall stregthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!} What I found in the middle, however, showed David’s grasp of God’s sovereignty in the midst of his fear.

For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; in the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock.

Psalm 27:5

David trusts that God will protect him in times of trouble, but He doesn’t limit that protection to his earthly home. I love that David doesn’t specify where the protection takes place. Whether he is hidden in God’s physical tabernacle on earth or in His heavenly dwelling, David knows that he will be taken care of.

Safety comes in all shapes and sizes – in God’s world, it doesn’t always look like the safety we expect the police to provide. The next time I’m boarding an airplane or sending my husband off on a ministry trip, I want my prayers to be more “Your will be done” and less “safety first”.

Find Your Greatness

March 11, 2013 ~ Emily ~ 3 Comments

One of my sweet joys in life is listening to my husband talk about Jesus with students. I get to hear his passion for Christ and his care and concern for young people spill from his heart every week, especially on Sundays and Wednesdays.

Our youth group is going through Mark on Sunday mornings and last week we were talking about an oft shared story – Jesus feeding the 5,000. As Tim talked about how God is able to do mighty things with our meager offerings, I kept thinking of a certain Nike commercial.

My mind connects dots in a fairly creative pattern, so thinking of TV during a message isn’t out of the ordinary. There’s been some controversy about this particular commercial, but for whatever reason, it really resonates with me. At face value, the message is generically inspirational: anyone can achieve greatness no matter what obstacles need to be overcome – all you need to do is start (Just Do It!).

http://youtu.be/2JnYcuRW_qo

The commercial speaks of personal greatness, but I think of God’s greatness.

Somehow we’ve come to believe that greatness is a gift reserved for a chosen few, for prodigies, for superstars, and the rest of us can only stand by watching…

God invites us to partner with Him in ministry, to make His name great. We don’t need to be amazing orators, charismatic leaders, rich and influential, or monks to make an impact on Christ’s behalf.

Greatness is no more unique to us than breathing. We are all capable of it. All of us.

God’s greatness is displayed in the little things just as much as in miracles. Our daily lives can be a living sacrifice to Him if we choose to let God shine instead of ourselves. We are all equipped to share God’s greatness, one breath at a time.

Five loaves and two fish is far from great, but God can do great things when we are willing to offer what we have. ( <— Tweet this! )

The weight of our sin and smallness may make us cumbersome. Our burdens and brokenness may slow us down. I often limit God because I’m convinced I have nothing to offer. I don’t serve because I think I’ll fail. I don’t talk to that person because I think I won’t have the words. I don’t initiate because I fear rejection.

But, God uses the weary and imperfect; He only asks that we get off our feet and move for His glory – even if they are baby steps.

May we all be willing to be used for God’s greatness, one step at a time.