The Beauty and Bounty of Passion

November 1, 2012 ~ Emily ~ Leave a comment

I lay in bed yesterday reflecting on what a hard working husband I have. He is dedicated to his job and puts himself into all that he does. God has called him to serve youth, and he does so with a gentle, caring, and wholly-invested heart.

He is passionate about students and Christ, and that passion helps him tackle the difficult aspects of ministry.

While I was snug in my bed, he was working alongside other students and volunteers to clean up after our church’s harvest party. He may have shed his Friar Tuck costume, but he was still laboring for Christ.

Our passions motivate us to do things that are tiresome, unsavory, and stressful. They inspire us to be selfless in our actions and attitudes.

This is best displayed in Jesus’ life. He was (and is, still) so passionately in love with us that He made the ultimate self-sacrifice. He died to save His children. In turn, our passion for Christ moves us to deny ourselves, pick up our cross, and follow Him. (Matthew 16:24).

As witnessed by Tim’s passions resulting in service and sacrifice, the same pattern occurs on a smaller scale in our daily life. Let me rephrase that. It should happen in our day to day life.

But, if you’re like me, God ordained passions don’t always translate into selfless behavior. It wasn’t until I lay there last night, reflecting on what a hard working man I married, that I realized where the disconnect occurs.

I’ve been missing the action step. Those passions need to be expressed in motion and service. Selflessness is a practice – the more you do it, the more natural it will become.

I can see the evidence of this missing step in my relationship with Tim. I realize this may be stating the obvious, but I’m passionate about my husband. I’m not just talking about being passionately in love with Tim ,but being passionate about supporting his calling to youth and family ministry. I may not have the same calling, but I’m passionate about being an encouragement and a help to my husband as he pursues his passion for the Church.

In theory, my passion for Tim should spur me on to selfless service and support. To be honest, I haven’t been doing a great job in that department lately. I find myself consistently rebelling against opportunities to serve and put Tim first.

I am missing the action aspect working in conjunction with my passion to produce selfless fruit. It took my husband’s example to illuminate this disconnect.

I have been relying on feelings to produce selfless love and support for Tim, but feelings can be fickle. I must put my passion to work. Practicing love, patience, grace, encouragement, and forgiveness should work up a sweat.

A harvest doesn’t happen without tilling the soil, planting the seed, watering the plants, and reaping what was sewn.

Being selfless isn’t an automatic result of having a passion, but with diligence and hard work, passions produce God-honoring beauty and bounty.

Dear Emily {31 Days of Letters}

October 13, 2012 ~ Emily ~ Leave a comment

Dear Emily,

I realized, after writing you that previous letter, I had much more to say. I could write an advice dictionary to you, with all of my words-to-the-wise in alphabetical order and explained in detail. Though that would appeal to my type A personality, I think even my younger self would rebel against such blatant superiority.

Superiority is far from what I’m trying to communicate with any advice I give you. Sure, you make mistakes, but believe me when I say, you continue to make mistakes as you grow older and “wiser.” However, in 25 years, I’ve begun to recognize a pattern in your mistakes and struggles. You have an insatiable desire to do everything right and do it right the first time around.

There’s a danger in this striving for perfection that has made your journey seem more primitive than it needs to be. You desperately seek God’s will and His direction for your life, but you focus on the minutia of His answer. I’ve learned over the past 25 years that God’s still small voice likes to communicate the big picture.

Maybe that mode of communication is unique to us because God knows we spend too much time fixating on details. Regardless, after years of burdened prayers asking God to reveal His will, that still small voice led me to a verse that becomes our hearts cry over and over again. I’d like to make you privy to this knowledge a little earlier in hopes that you can avoid some tears and confusion.

It’s quite simple, really. There are three things that always comprise God’s will for you: joy, prayer, and gratitude.

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. {1 Thessalonians 5:16-18}

Joy, constant prayer, and giving thanks are always God’s will. The surest way to do the right thing the first time is to be joyful in any circumstance, steep your decisions in prayer, and give praise to God for the outcome.

My dear Em, even in their simplicity, all three are difficult to do without God’s strength and grace. You won’t always choose to be joyful or choose prayer before action or choose to give thanks. But, devote yourself to these disciplines. Pursuing them, even when you fail, is always more fruitful than striving after your own plans and purposes.

Sincerely,

Emily

You can find all my letters here.

For more information about the 31 Day Challenge, visit The Nester.

The New Community

September 19, 2012 ~ Emily ~ 5 Comments

I’m beginning to realize that Christian community is quite the chameleon. Community is a constantly evolving concept, changing just as much as its members. On the most fundamental level, the Christian community encompasses all believers, however, the power of community lies less in numbers and more in intimately doing life with other Christ-followers. In community, we walk these primitive roads together – carrying each other’s burdens, encouraging each other to press forward, simply, loving each other.

Leaving California meant leaving my community – a group of twenty-somethings trying to figure this life out together. We succeeded. We failed. Together. These women were my friends, my confidants, my bridesmaids, my cheering squad, my sounding board. They still are those things, but, with 1300 miles between us, our community looks different.

Different is difficult for me. I have become oh so aware that, as with many things in life, community has seasons. One of my anxieties about moving to Idaho was the unknown community factor. Who will our friends be? How will we plug-in outside of the youth group? Will people like us? How long will it take to develop the kind of community I had before? Will it be the same?

I don’t have the answers (though, as far as I know, people like us…) and I’m beginning to realize that I don’t need the answers. God is showing me how to appreciate this new season of community, to let it develop with no expectations. He has already blown me away with what our community looks like.

No expectations looks like:

Here’s a basket full of notes and gift cards to welcome us to Coeur d’Alene and CBC.

Oh, you’ve just arrived in town? Come over for burgers!

We missed you at the church picnic. Do you want to get coffee?

You like to hike? I’ll take you up Canfield Mountain on Saturday!

You need a couch? We have one that needs a home!

And let us consider and give attentive, continuous care to watching over one another, studying how we may stir up (stimulate and incite) to love and helpful deeds and noble activities, not forsaking or neglecting to assemble together (as believers), as is the habit of some people, but admonishing (warning, urging, and encouraging) one another, and all the more faithfully as you see the day approaching. {Hebrews 10:24-25, Amp}

Not only have Tim and I been adopted into a welcoming community during this new season, we now have an excellent example of how to extend community to others.

When unpacking is an exercise in thanksgiving.

September 17, 2012 ~ Emily ~ Leave a comment

I watched Tim vacuum our living room with a mixture of anticipation and agitation. Our vast expanse of uncluttered carpet was going to be piled high with furniture and boxes in a matter of hours.

Twelve days ago, we had watched our possessions being loaded on to a large van. Those boxes and pieces of furniture would later be transfered to an even larger freight truck, then hauled North on its way to Idaho. The next day, we made a much more direct and speedy journey to our new home. Blueberry, my trusty Honda Accord, was packed with clothes, bedding, and a few other items we had deemed necessary for survival during a week (or so) sans the majority of our stuff.

joy is my best offering Even after a trip to Target yielded a cart full of items to make our apartment functional, the empty spaces around the place were a bit startling – at first. I quickly got used to eating frozen pizza on an upturned laundry basket and sleeping on an air mattress. When we got a couch, I was shocked at the amount of space it seemed to occupy. In reality, it was just odd to have a large object amidst the nothingness.

After reading Organized Simplicity a couple months ago, God has been reshaping my attitude about living intentionally. Tim and I went through a great purge before we moved and I’ve enjoyed the beginning stages of pairing down our belongings. Though this week of simplicity has had challenges – no oven mitt to take out aforementioned pizza, not wanting to buy hangers when we have some on their way, colder temperatures than we were prepared for in the clothing department – I realized I was growing attached to our stark apartment landscape.

So, on one hand, I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of our coffee maker (yes, I am a caffeine addict), books, and real bed (oh to be at least a foot off the ground…). It will be lovely to cook for new friends in an operational kitchen and hang family photos in the living room, but I know that with the delivery of our possessions comes a healthy dose of distraction. I am wary of being consumed by the task of unpacking, by the desire to make things perfect.

My prayer is that the process of unpacking would be an exercise in thanksgiving, an act of praise for His provision. As we create a home out of our apartment, it is my desire to give joy as an offering to the One who has given to us abundantly in life and love.

Rejoice, you people of Jerusalem! Rejoice in the LORD your God! For the rain he sends demonstrates his faithfulness. Once more the autumn rains will come, as well as the rains of spring. {Joel 2:23}

Dear Me… {a letter to my teenage self}

September 14, 2012 ~ Emily ~ 8 Comments

A letter to my teenage self

My dearest Em,

What a journey you have ahead! In your small (and by small, I mean tall and semi-chubby) self, you have no idea what joy and pain, triumphs and failures, love and heartache, adventures and mishaps are waiting for you.

I don’t want to alter your path too much with my words from the future. I am grateful, though vexed at times, for the lessons I learned from your choices. I would, however, like to offer some encouragement, and maybe a pointer or two, to make the coming years less of an emotional roller coaster.

Be Yourself!

Life got a lot more enjoyable when you began to embody who God created you to be. Unfortunately for you, it wasn’t until college that you really started to act like yourself, and even then, you had days so driven by the whims of other people, Emily was nowhere to be found.

I realize it takes time, and trial and error, to discover who you are. The process of discovery never really stops; but, the more you look to the Lord – the author of the life you live – the more confident you’ll be that YOU are speaking, acting, thinking, believing, not other people.

With that in mind: embrace your height, wear lace, start a book club, get your groove on, speak up in class, bake for everyone you know (and don’t know), share your faith boldly. Indeed, people will judge, but at least they will be judging the real you, not who you think they want to judge.

Clippings from the Senior issue of the Tartan Shield, my high school newspaper. I was on staff for three years. {Ashley was my Maid of Honor}

About boys…

Teenage love is swirling around you in all its hand-holding, texting, and movie going glory. The idea of a guy liking you is a heady thought, especially that guy you’ve liked since 6th grade and will continue to like all through high school.

Baking his name in cookies, toilet papering his house, and endlessly instant messaging him may seem like good ideas, but probably come off as a tad bit overeager (desperate, maybe?). The triumph of getting him to admit that he thinks you’re pretty isn’t worth the endless hours you obsess and journal about him.

God seems a bit cruel, not allowing some romantic action to develop over the years. Yes, a date to just one school dance would be nice, but deep down you know you only want to go for the dress. Don’t fret, you’ll get to wear a beautiful dress when it really counts. God isn’t being cruel; He’s keeping you all to Himself until both you and the one who will cherish and care for you is ready.

I don’t want to give too much away (just wait until you find out where your “meet cute” is…), but know that your future husband meets everything on the list you so diligently made and has qualities you didn’t know you needed.

In light of all that, you won’t have a boyfriend until you’re 24 and that boyfriend will become your husband. You saved your first kiss for him. You saved your whole self for him.

It was worth it!

Reach out!

Friends don’t make themselves. Your dependence on others to create friendships for you is unnecessary and puts strain on the ones that matter the most. I know there are others around you who have the same difficulty moving past “Hello. How are you.” Those people are friends in the making!

Shyness is not an excuse. Come to find out, you aren’t shy. Reserved, yes. Introverted, yes. Shy, no.

Look beyond yourself and reach out to those around you. Not everyone you meet needs to become your bosom friend, but love and caring without prejudice should go without saying.

Reach out to the girl who gleefully pointed out the mating moths before 4th period. Reach out to the foreign exchange student who’s too smart for his own good. Reach out to the forlorn girl in PE who obviously has “sadness in her heart,” as mom would say.

On beauty…

I am hesitant to say much on the topic of beauty and self-image, not because you don’t need encouragement, but because I am so vastly in need of the same encouragement. I don’t know what to say to keep you from negative self-talk and strict food intake. You have already begun to build your self perception around a worldly standard.

Your family, your friends, your husband will spend many hours affirming you. Their encouragement will all be for not if a confidence in Christ’s unconditional love for you doesn’t remain strong.

If you internalize anything from this letter, let it be this: You are valuable. Your value isn’t directly linked to any sort of physical attribute or personality trait. Your value is given by God Almighty.

Put your God goggles on and believe what you see.

In parting:

You will begin to notice a theme develop as God molds and shapes your heart and your path. He never works when or how you want Him to work. Initially, that’s quite frustrating and works directly against your perfectionist modus operandi, however, you cannot deny that God knows. He just knows…

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

{Ephesians 3:19-21}

Amen, indeed, Emmy – Amen!

~~~~~~~~

Emily P. Freeman, author of Grace for the Good Girl, has written a second book geared toward young women. It’s called Graceful and Emily shares:

For the good test taker and the strict list maker. For the rule follower, the fear wallower, the messy, and the misunderstood. For the self-critic, the silent judge, and the girl who feels invisible.

For the girl who is tired of trying and the one afraid to fail.

You don’t have to be perfect, but do you trust the One who is? The God who came to save you also came to live with you, in you, today.

She encouraged others to remember what it was like to be a teenager again. Many of us took that challenge and turned our reflections into letters to our young souls. You can find a link up of other letters on Emily’s website Chatting at The Sky. She has even created a wonderful video to spread the message of Graceful.

photo credit: Dr Stephen Dann via photopin cc