Category: Life Seasons

Vows

~ Emily ~ 4 Comments

God never ceases to amaze me with His timing.  I feel like a broken record because I’m floored over and over again about how He orchestrates life in a way that is undeniably His doing.

Last week, Tim and I attended the Friday and Saturday sessions of A Weekend To Remember, a marriage conference put on by Family Life.  The nature of Tim’s work precluded us from going to the last day of sessions.  Providentially, Coeur d’Alene Resort was hosting the conference two weekends in a row. Tim was able to skip out of church a bit early yesterday so we could complete our Weekend To Remember.

What started out to be a morning of rushing, hurt feelings, and silence was transformed into a special day because of God’s perfect timing and heart nudging.

Unbeknownst to me, every WTR concludes with couples renewing their vows.  Unbeknownst to the organizers of WTR, Sunday was our 6 month anniversary.   Six months earlier, Tim and I were exchanging our very own vows under a wooden arbor in Twin Peaks, CA.

So much has changed in a matter of months.  The vows we made to each other before God, family, and friends six months ago offer security and confidence as we face the transitions, thrills, tension, and triumphs of married life.

In a sea of men and women standing hand in hand, our voices joining in the chorus of other couples, Tim and I re-pledged our love and commitment to one another.

I was reminded that Tim and I committed to a life-long journey that doesn’t preclude hurt and frustration.  We vowed to remain united and pursuing Christ in spite of present pressures and tomorrow’s uncertainties.

Revisiting your vows is a great reminder that love is a choice, a choice that transcends circumstances.

 

Eucharisteo

~ Emily ~ 9 Comments

It’s no coincidence that as rain turned into slush that turned into big flakes of our first snow in Coeur d’Alene, I was stranded in a coffee shop with only a book to keep me occupied.  The book – One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

Tim and I had waited until the last minute to get our little car fixed up with snow worthy tires. So, it seemed, had most other people.  We were 31st in line and had a projected wait of four hours.  We resigned ourselves to making the coffee shop across the street our home for the evening.

Aside from an hour and a half interlude with some friends who graciously picked us up and fed us dinner, I spent over two hours immersed in Ann’s “list of naming God’s gifts.”  I read how eucharisteo is the fullness of life.  Thanksgiving. Gratitude.  They are inextricable from joy.

“I would never experience the fullness of my salvation until I expressed the fullness of my thanks every day, and eucharisteo is elemental to living the saved life,” Ann whispers in my ear.

The snow begins to fall when we leave our friends’ house and falls faster when we reenter our second home.  Walls shield me from the swiftly swirling snow as I hunker down for another hour of waiting, but coldness still penetrates my heart.

I have been dreading this blanket of white.  Snow means winter.  Winter means cold.  Cold means something dreary in my soul.  I so desperately want sun and warmth and sandals.

Even as I read and agree with Ann’s words that rejecting joy doesn’t rescue suffering, I am obstinate about my current displeasure.  I reject the beauty and the purity and the silence of snow.   It falls and my spirit falls with it.

I do not begin to melt until I hear the simple metaphor in my yearnings for heat and sunshine.  All I want is the sun and I am struck that the only thing that will get me through this season is the Son.  My innards stubbornly refuse to resign their sinking until eucharisteo reminds me again of the Son.

I cannot dwell low when the Son is shining high.

First with intentionality and then in a flood of thanks, I feel rays of His warmth kissing my skin in…

A bouquet of flowers and an ice scraper clutched tightly in my husbands hands.

The flicker of a candle flame reflected in our TV screen filled with fake fire.

Heat-filled cheeks from the steam of a hot bath.

Elegant green boughs heavy with white powder.

The oven timer signaling fresh-baked cookies are ready and warm.

My own list of naming God’s gifts has begun.  It is what propels me out of the cold, into the warmth of the Son.  With thousands of unique pieces of icy lace floating from the heavens, my heart echoes Ann’s prayer, “in the posture of euchariseo, I want to slow down and taste life, give thanks, and see God.”

7 by Jen Hatmaker {a review}

~ Emily ~ 10 Comments

Confronted by the worldly abundance in her life, Jen Hatmaker decided to rebel against cultural norms with an unconventional fast from greed, materialism, and overindulgence.  She identified seven areas of excess and tackled them one month at a time.  The result is recorded in Jen’s thought provoking book, 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess.

The Hatmaker family (along with some friends who were willing to participate in this crazy experiment) would only eat seven foods, wear seven articles of clothing, and spend money in seven places.  They would eliminate use of seven media outlets, give away seven things each day, adopt seven green habits, and observes seven “sacred pauses.”  This mutiny lasted seven months, each practice assigned to a different month.

Jen shares her journey through the 7 experiment in journal style.  She is humorous, honest, and humble about her struggles and successes along the way.

If the state of my paperback copy of this book is any indication of how much I would recommend 7, you should go out and buy it immediately.  The cover is bent from being shoved in my purse so I could read it during any downtime, pages are mussed up and underlined, and water marks belie the truth that it was in the bathroom (a favorite reading spot) a lot.

I’m still not sure whether I read 7 at the perfect time or the worst time.

My heart was primed for talk of purging and simplifying after reading Tsh Oxenreider’s book, Organized Simplicity. I may have freaked The Hubs out with all my talk of family purpose statements, home management, and garage sales (which we did have!).

However, all of this upheaval in my heart about intentional living coincided with upheaval in my day to day life.  Tim and I were newly married, job searching, and didn’t have a permanent place to live.  Major transitions were in motion and I started reading 7 the day we got the keys to our new apartment, 1300 miles away from where we previously called home.

I was ripe for revival in this new season, this new place, but very full with all the changes that had happened and were happening.  Our  move was the perfect opportunity to start fresh, but I was already overwhelmed with adjusting to our new situation let alone adjusting to a new style of living.

We had already reduced our possessions before moving and were beginning to weigh purchases against budget and priorities.  But, I realized this book was prompting an attitude adjustment not just an actions overhaul.

I was especially convicted about my closet.  During high school and college, I built a large part of my identity around the clothes I wore.   I had accumulated quite the clothing collection over those years and continued to purchase without purging.  Not only did I need to purge, I also needed to extricate my value from my apparel.

Month by month, as I laughed, sighed, and agreed with Jen, I became more fired up about simplicity.  But, I also developed a superior attitude about my new found zest for intentional living.  I judged other people’s choices, holding them to my own new standards.

By the time I had gotten to the last couple chapters, I was mentally crafting an S.O.S. to Jen asking how she approached other Christians who were not on the same beam about reducing excess and increasing generosity.

Then I read her conclusion. Screech. Halt. Lightbulb. Humbled.

7 allowed us to slowly break up with some of our ideas, our luxuries. However, even if I had a clear directive, I’m not sure I’d share it here. Whatever God has done or is doing in our family is certainly not a template, and I don’t want it to be.  We live in a certain city with a certain task, we have specific gifts, and we’re horribly deficient in others.  Our life looks like it does because we are the Hatmakers, and God is dealing with us the way He’s dealing with us.  We have a history and sin issues and circumstances and geography that God takes into account as He stakes our place in His kingdom. {218}

My judgment of others was based on a formula – a formula I wasn’t 100% successful at, I might add!  Fasting isn’t really about what you go without, but why you go without.  I realized that 7 wasn’t prescriptive, but descriptive.

The process of lightening our mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional load in order to serve God wholeheartedly looks different for everyone.  It isn’t a formula. Jen’s message isn’t one of judgement for the techno-dependent, hoarders in all of us; it is encouragement to take an honest look at our resources and how we use them.

Each of us is in a different place on the journey. I am responsible for my own journey and to spur others on in their own journey, not to criticize.

When the reading was over, 7 left me meditating on these two verses:

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. {Matthew 6:20}

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. {Micah 6:8}

Attitudes Speak

~ Emily ~ Leave a comment

Presidential elections are one of those recurring events that cause me to remember where I was and what I was doing the previous time around.  Last election, I was finishing up my last semester at William Jewell College.  I opted to work the polls, more for the monetary compensation than a chance to take part in the political process.

I’m fairly ashamed to admit that I didn’t even vote.  My sense of civic responsibility is generally overcome by laziness (not proud of that!) and the whole absentee ballot thing takes some forethought when you’re attending school in a different state than you’re registered.

A similar thing happened this year.  I sat on the sidelines watching the political punches being thrown.  Though I am not proud to say I didn’t vote, being an onlooker gave me a valuable perspective on my role as a Christian in the political process.

God has placed us in a democracy, so we should do our best to elect leaders whose values and policies reflect our beliefs.  But, because I did not participate in democracy this year, I was struck by the importance of our attitudes not just our actions at the polls.

Political opinions are plentiful and like gnats – they seem to fly in swarms and inevitably find their way into any open orifice.  Since elections are so public, people are always listening, observing, and judging. Not only do we have a civic responsibility to vote, we also have a Christian responsibility to represent our Lord in how we vote.

For me, the how is not about the action but the attitude accompanying the action. I wonder if our real civic responsibility as Christians is to to react well, regardless of who wins.  With either a Republican or Democrat in office, God is fully in control.

The nation is watching and waiting.  Would it not make more of an impact if we chose joy and responded with love in the wake of the election?

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. {Colossians 3:12-14}

In the midst of an institution that is often darkened by backbiting and corruption we have an opportunity to let God’s light shine.

Our attitudes have a greater impact on God’s light than electing the right person for president.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. {Colossians 3:15-17}

Waiting Q & A

~ Emily ~ Leave a comment

As part of my 31 Days of Letter series last month, I wrote a letter to high school ladies about being patient while God orchestrates their love life.

However, the encouragement to wait for God’s timing isn’t limited to highschoolers and waiting doesn’t only apply to romantic relationships.

My romantic history taught me the importance of giving God control of my desires.  I’m still learning. I seek to be open-handed with my plans so that God can change them, replace them, or completely erase them at His will not mine.

I got an email from one of my favorite high school ladies with a great question that I wanted to answer here in case others had similar ponderings.

She wrote:

I was wondering – you said  “Waiting is hard, but don’t let the difficulty of waiting distract you from pursuing God whole heartedly.”

Sometimes when I am waiting for something I do get distracted on the thing I want.

Any sugestions as to how I might try to be more focused on God??

I definitely failed more than I succeeded in this department.  In hindsight, I do know what I wish I would have done more often to combat that antsy, agitated state of waiting.

Disclaimer: I have been the recipient of all of this advice.  I did my fair share of eye rolling because it seemed like I was getting a lecture straight out of Sunday School 101.  Sometimes I followed it; sometimes I poo-poo’d it.  If only I could take back every time I poo-poo’d it… 

The key is to distract yourself from being distracted.  Confusing?  Aren’t you trying to avoid distraction? Well, yes.  But, the effectiveness of this strategy is WHAT you distract yourself with.

Distract yourself with God and you’ll be well on your way to being more focused on Him.

Pray – Cry to God.  Yell at God.  Confess to God.  Ask questions of God.  Thank God.  Submit to God.  I found it very therapeutic to be honest with the One who knows my heart more intimately than I do.  Praying may not yield a change in your circumstances, but growing intimacy with God changes your attitude about your circumstances.  The best way to foster intimacy is to communicate.

If words escape you, start praying the Psalms.  David and the other Psalmists struggled with the same anxieties we face.  Let their words spark some dialogue between you and God. (Try these: Psalm 27, 37, 39, 130)

Listen – I always rebelled against this step in the process.  I listened – I just listened to the wrong voices.  My heart and mind were rowdy with hurt and frustration. Those voices weren’t helpful, but they were a way to justify my feelings.

Listening to God required silence, which is the antithesis of what I wanted to accompany my waiting.  Silence made the wait seem stark and never-ending. Learn to be still in order to hear the still small voice of God.  Quieting my heart and mind made space for me to accept God’s comfort and peace.

Serve – Pour into others.  Waiting can become really internally focused. Selfishness is one of the most destructive qualities in relationships.  It’s best to start weeding that out of your life ASAP.  Being active for God’s glory is a great way to start making selflessness a habit.

No matter how much you want to be in a relationship, the “single season” should not be wished away.  I missed out on deepening friendships and creating richer community because I was focused on what I didn’t have instead of the gifts God had already provided.

I also let my single status slip away without maximizing the time I had, for lack of a less cliche phrase, to better myself.  I could have given Tim the gift of a more patient, kind, selfless wife.

Bottom line: Get distracted by God, not the difficulty of waiting.  Enjoy the single season – you most likely won’t get it back.

How do you stay focused on God in the midst of waiting?